'He's on another planet': Ex-Wallabies clash over 'poor' Aussies
Just when you thought getting up at 4.30am to put yourself through a tortuous game of Test match rugby was the dumbest idea since that time you mixed tequila, chocolate milk and Tabasco, along comes David Campese to rescue the day.
The Wallaby great – as is his way - didn’t bother with niceties when assessing Australia's soporific 32-15 loss to England at Twickenham.
Over to you, Campo.
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"It was a very poor game – I'm not sure what they are doing out there," he said.
"England had no game plan but we didn’t capitalise.
"We haven’t got any combinations. The backline are all individuals.
"We get the ball and don't seem to know what to do.
"It's just not working."
You could argue England had an okay game plan as they pretty much had Australia's measure through a painful 80-minute journey that actually took more like 100 minutes due to the constant stoppages and unwanted TMO involvement.
Campese, however, was bang on about the Wallabies' lack of cohesion and poor execution.
But another ex-Wallaby Justin Harrison was having none of it back in the Stan studios.
He fired back: "Campo's at Twickenham but it sounds like he's on another planet.
"I refuse to accept that description (of the performance).
"It's too easy to say that. It was a performance we could be proud of.
"They were in that match until the last six minutes."
Harrison was right insofar as the scoreboard only had the home side up by seven coming into the final stretch.
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Then Nic White gave away a dumb "escort" penalty to allow England a 10-point breather, which was eased out to 17 by full-time thanks to an after-the-siren try from yet another Wallabies turnover.
The lack of cohesion Campese spoke of is understandable to an extent due to the number of players missing and the changes made during the game, but it only goes some way in explaining such a turgid display.
The Australians appear slow to grasp rugby's new world order where everything – and we mean everything – is put under the TMO's microscope.
The Wallabies lost two players to the sin bin as a result of reviewed decisions and finished 18-9 behind in the penalty count.
Despite what Harrison wants you to believe, you never felt Australia had it in them to win this game and end a seven-game losing streak against Eddie Jones' men.
All our points came from James O'Connor's boot and there simply weren't enough moments of sustained pressure to test England's defence.
This Australian side is now running on fumes and will likely go into next week's Test against Wales without inspirational skipper Michael Hooper, who limped out of the England with a foot injury 15 minutes from the end.
Dave Rennie might be the one needing a tequila, chocolate milk and Tabasco by the end of it all.
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