'I could see her sinking' — How Lauren Betts rediscovered her confidence and found her voice

For most of her life, Lauren Betts towered over her peers. At 6-foot-7 she never knew how to be comfortable with standing out. But on the court, there was a purpose to being tall. Basketball gave her confidence.

Then, during her freshman year of college, basketball took back that confidence. The No. 1 recruit is expected to come in and dominate, but that didn’t happen for Betts. Instead, every mistake made her question her talent and in turn, herself. Every minute on the bench made her wonder, “If Lauren Betts wasn’t a basketball star, then what was she?”

Was she nobody?

So she transferred from Stanford to UCLA for a fresh start, going to Westwood with what she thought were scars. Basketball had fixed her before, and she thought it could do it again. UCLA was good. She was good. But she didn’t feel good. She felt worthless.

The scars weren’t scars at all. They were open wounds. Lauren Betts was broken, and this time, basketball couldn’t heal her. She had to do that herself.

'I just didn’t think anyone cared'

About a month after UCLA’s 77-62 victory over South Carolina, the one that broke a 43-game winning streak, Michelle Betts sat down to watch the game with her son Dylan. She’d been in the sold-out Pauley Pavilion when her daughter Lauren and the Bruins pulled off the historic upset, but Dylan had yet to experience the setting.

Midway through the second quarter, Michelle turned to Dylan. Your sister hasn’t scored yet, Michelle said. She’s missed shots. She’s missed free throws. She’s turned the ball over. But do you see how she just keeps moving on?

There’s a lesson there for Dylan, who is starting his own journey as a highly touted basketball recruit. But that’s not why Michelle wants him to pay attention. This isn’t a player-to-player moment; it’s a sister-to-brother lesson. Michelle wants Dylan to see how much Lauren has grown. Because a year earlier, Lauren Betts would not have ended the game with 11 points, 14 rebounds, four assists and four blocks. A year ago, she wouldn’t have kept moving. She would have shriveled up and internalized those mistakes. She would have gone through the motions, but mentally, Betts would have given up on herself.

Not anymore.

After her freshman season at Stanford, Betts made the decision to transfer. Rumors swirled that she was mad about playing time, that she didn’t want to sit behind Cameron Brink for another year, and that — as the former No. 1 recruit — she didn’t want to share the spotlight. But the truth was, she was miserable. It was that simple. Stanford hadn’t been the dream she thought it would be, and after a difficult season, where she spent a lot of time on the bench, doubting her abilities, Betts wasn’t in a good mental space. She also didn’t see it getting better over the next three seasons if she stayed put, so Betts decided to start fresh. It was an easy decision for Betts and her family, but one that the basketball world couldn’t wrap its head around. Leaving a historic program with three national titles and giving up a Stanford education wasn’t something people on the outside could reconcile.

“Just because things around you seem perfect, there are still internal battles that you face that people don’t know anything about,” Michelle said.

Betts did her best to shut out the criticism. She didn’t want her fresh start impacted by small-minded people or internet trolls. So she filed the comments away in a remote corner of her brain, hoping they would stay there.

During her initial recruitment, Betts formed a bond with UCLA coach Cori Close. They would talk on the phone for an hour at a time, not about basketball, but just about life. Missing out on Betts was devastating for Close, so when given a second chance, Close pulled out all the stops, even promising to jump in a pool fully clothed if Betts committed. As Betts watched her new coach splash into the water, she felt like one chapter closed and another began. But nothing is that easy.

Betts was the most sought-after transfer in the country. As soon as she committed to UCLA the Bruins became a legitimate contender. Betts had already played with Kiki Rice and Londynn Jones on the U16 National Team, so it seemed like an easy transition.

From the first game, Betts was dominant. She opened with a 20-point, seven-rebound performance in a win against Purdue. She followed that up with three double-doubles in a row, and never really stopped being one of the best players on the court, averaging 14.9 points and 9.3 rebounds per game. But something was off. Watching at home, Michelle couldn’t see the light in her daughter’s eyes — the joy that basketball had given her, the confidence, the self-love, it was gone.

“I could see her sinking,” Michelle said. “And I really didn’t know what was going to happen next.”

As she fell deeper and deeper into her self-doubt, Lauren Betts felt like her only option was to power through. She smiled, she showed up to practices and team events. She changed her hair on the court, trying braids and buns and a cheery yellow scrunchie. All the while, she was tiptoeing around her teammates. When she was open and didn’t get the ball, Betts struggled to say anything. She worried her teammates might think she was demanding or selfish. And when she got the ball and messed up, Betts hated herself for it. In her mind, Betts said things about herself that she would never dare say about anyone else. She was being cruel and she didn’t know how to stop. She also didn’t know how to tell anyone.

“I just didn’t think anyone cared,” Betts said. “I came from a situation where I didn’t have a sense of security. I carried that into last year. I didn’t have a lot of trust in the people around me.”

Finally, things came to a head when UCLA played Utah on Jan. 22, 2024. Betts had seven points, four rebounds and five turnovers, and the Bruins lost 94-81 in overtime. Her point total was a season-low — other than an earlier blowout win against Niagara where Betts was rested, only playing five minutes — and her turnover mark was a season-high. The loss didn’t help, because somewhere along the line, Betts had convinced herself that every bad thing that happened on the court for UCLA was her fault.

“I identified my self-worth based on how I was playing and how many points I scored,” she said. “It was so unhealthy and I let it build up for so long that eventually it blew up.”

Betts was forced to take a step back from basketball. The negative feelings had gone on for so long that she didn’t have a choice anymore. She sat out for the next four games, went to therapy and committed herself to speaking up, even when it was hard.

“I was finally honest,” she said. “Continuing to put on a mask for my coaches and my teammates wasn’t going to make it better. And it was at the point where it needed to be fixed, immediately.”

And despite the hurt she was feeling and the wounds she carried, Betts found that people did care. Her coaches supported her decision, and her teammates rallied around her. Rice visibly broke down in a postgame interview when talking about playing without Betts. Everyone’s hearts were heavy, but not because they were angry or disappointed like she thought they would be. They were heavy because they cared about her.

That four-game stretch changed Betts’ perspective. As she slowly got re-acclimated with basketball, Betts tried a new approach. When she felt something, she said something. It was terrifying at first. Even asking for the ball when she was open felt like an intense demand, so talking about mental health was daunting. Even now, Betts doesn’t get too specific. Not to outsiders at least. But the people that need to know, know everything. And she continues to talk when a new thought or feeling crops up.

“My relationships have gotten so much closer,” she said. “Because I’m having honest conversations and I don’t feel the need to bottle everything up. I’m a more free person because I have the strength to say the hard things.”

Finding her confidence and flourishing

Lauren Betts is surrounded by screaming fans. Assistant coach Shannon LeBeauf has a hand on Betts' back, guiding her through the chaos. Betts is in Newark, New Jersey of all places, after leading her team to a 72-57 win over Baylor with 24 points, nine rebounds and a school-record and career-high nine blocks. She’s nearly 2,800 miles away from Los Angeles and 1,800 miles from her hometown of Centennial, Colorado, but these people know her. “Lauren! Lauren! Lauren!” they shout, as Betts signs autographs and takes selfies with her young fans. One little boy gets a photo with Betts and then shakes his fists in excitement, an open-mouthed smile spread across his face.

Finally, LeBeauf guides Betts into the tunnel and toward the locker room. She has tears in her eyes. “Lauren deserves this so much,” she says.

You can’t keep a 6-7 post a secret, especially not when she is a former No. 1 recruit. But after a quiet freshman year, there was an element of surprise to Betts’ game last season. Now, there is no denying her dominance. The South Carolina game served as a coming-out party for Betts, and in every game since, she’s been the focal point of defensive schemes. So far, it hasn’t mattered.

Betts is coming off a career-high 33 points in a win over Maryland where she missed just one shot from the field. She earned three player of the week awards for her performance. There are differences in her game. Betts is better at going over both shoulders instead of favoring her left. Her range is extended, she rarely uses unnecessary dribbles and has become an elite passer. But everything happening on the court is a direct reflection of what’s happening internally.

“The confidence I have in myself as a person and as a player has changed so much for the better,” she said. “I believe in myself every time I step on the floor. I trust myself and what I’m doing, and I’m a lot less timid.”

The Bruins also renewed their commitment to Betts during the offseason, targeting shooters in the transfer portal like Timea Gardner from Oregon State who could complement Betts. Her vision and ability to find open teammates out of double-teams is one noticeable on-court difference from last season, and the stats reflect it. Betts averaged one assist last season, a number that has risen to 2.5, and she’s had five assists multiple times this season.

“She’s going to get a triple-double with points, rebounds and assists at some point this year,” LeBeauf said.

Everything about her game has seen improvement. Ironically, Betts is a better basketball player because she cares less about being a basketball player. She still loves the game and still wants to win more than anything — well, almost anything — but basketball no longer comes at the expense of herself.

“You matter as a person first,” Betts said. “I was a person before I started playing basketball and I’m still a person while I’m playing basketball.”

She’s been patient and deliberate about rebuilding her mental health. Now, the next step for Betts is to do that with her game. Because even though she’s scoring 21 points per game, grabbing 9.9 rebounds and shooting 64.2% from the field, there are endless other skills to unlock.

At just 57.8%, free throw shooting needs work. There are still moments where she puts the ball on the floor unnecessarily or doesn’t get low enough in her base. LeBeauf wants Betts to continue expanding her range — the goal is to be able to hit 3-pointers at some point during her senior season — but overall, the improvements come relatively easily.

“Everything is so simple,” LeBeauf said. “Because her basketball IQ is so high, all we have to do is articulate what she needs to fix and she can do it in the midst of the moment.”

But mostly, everything still comes down to a mental game. Betts has learned how to say the hard things, how to handle adversity and how to love who she is. Now she just needs to realize how good she can be as a basketball player.

Betts is still sensitive and admits that online comments get to her from time to time. But she’s also embracing the spotlight, and for every troll she encounters, there are many more people who support her. Betts is in Player of the Year conversations this season, something she can’t quite believe.

“She still doesn’t know why she’s getting all this attention,” Michelle said. “And I’m like, ‘Of course you are.’ I have to remind her that she is that girl.”

When Betts finally taps into that mindset, look out.

“I don’t think Lauren understands how good she can be,” LeBeauf said. “If she ever decides to just completely dominate, it could be scary. She has the potential to be one of the best that’s ever played her position.”

As LeBeauf and Betts walked toward the locker room in Newark, following the post-Baylor game autograph session, they were intercepted once again by a group of six kids. The smallest one, a little girl clad in a light-pink puffy jacket, makes a beeline for Betts. They want to take a picture, and the girl, who is no more than 4 years old, knows that in order to be seen, she needs a boost. She understands that when you feel small, it’s best to seek out the tallest person in the room.

Betts gets it. Because she is always that tall person. And last season, when she felt small, Betts turned to herself for the boost. Now, Lauren Betts can see herself. So can the rest of the world. And for the first time, she’s OK with that.