Dayne Beams has opened up about his car accident in February, admitting he “crashed deliberately” in a cry for help.
The Collingwood AFL star spent a night in hospital after suffering minor injuries in the crash in Melbourne's eastern suburbs.
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The premiership player was on leave from the club at the time dealing with personal issues, and has now lifted the lid on what really happened.
“There was a moment where ... I can‘t remember to be honest because I was concussed in the incident ... but I crashed my car deliberately,” Beams said on The Last Time I Cried podcast.
“I didn‘t want it to be fatal, I didn’t want to die but it was a cry, it was a massive cry ... I needed help.”
Beams spent time in a mental health facility last June and admitted there were a number of issues he was dealing with at the time of the crash.
“There‘s a lot of things that aren’t true that have been said about me,” Beams said.
“There‘s no doubt I had some addiction issues and there will be a time when I go into them and try to help people in depth, but at the moment I’m clean.”
Beams said the thought of putting wife Kelly and their two children through that ordeal “makes him sick.”
“I just didn‘t know how to get out of the s*** that I was in,” he explained.
“I feel like you need to hit rock bottom to go back up and for me that was the lowest I got.
“I don‘t know why I felt like that. That was what I needed to do, but it just was at the time. The thought of putting my kids and my wife through that makes me feel sick.”
Dayne Beams unlikely to play again
Beams is still under contract with Collingwood, but it’s unlikely he’ll ever play again.
He returned to Collingwood from Brisbane in the 2018 trade period and played nine games in 2019.
Beams did not feature after round 11 last year, with the 30-year-old taking a break to concentrate on his mental health while he also undergoing hip and shoulder surgery.
“I have been on the record in the past about the battles I have fought,” Beams said last year.
“Right now, I need to step away and regather myself.
“I hope people will understand that this is something I need to do for myself and, importantly, my family.
“Our wellbeing is the highest priority.”