Last night, a mosquito terrorized my bedroom. It bit me and buzzed in my ear, neatly evading capture every time I tried to grasp it. So went on the cycle for an hour, until I admitted defeat and slept on my sofa. Anyway, Kim Kardashian's Skims just announced its Ultimate Nipple Bra!
Yes, Kim took to the internet to advertise Skims' "newest innovation" which comes "with a built-in, faux nipple for shock factor." The bra retails at $62 and is available from 30A to 44F.
COMING OCT 31: THE @SKIMS ULTIMATE NIPPLE BRA. Perfect fullness with a built-in, faux nipple for shock factor – meet the newest innovation to our Ultimate Bra collection on Tuesday, October 31 at 9AM PT / 12PM ET. Join the waitlist for early access to shop.In addition to our… pic.twitter.com/PTrugEEN4T
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) October 27, 2023
"The Earth's temperature is getting hotter and hotter," Kim says in the promotional video, while wearing the bra. "The sea levels are rising. The ice sheets are shrinking. And I'm not a scientist, but I do believe everyone can use their skill set to do their part."
"That's why I'm introducing a bra with a built in nipple. So no matter how hot it is, you'll always look cold. Some days are hard. But these nipples are harder. And unlike the icebergs, these aren't going anywhere," she continues.
Ah, my two favorite things: existential environmental dread and nipples!
Alongside the promotional video is some complementary environmental marketing so, if you're not interested in longwinded nit-picking from an idiot with Google who slept poorly, I recommend clicking away. Still here? Alright.
"In addition to our ongoing investment in advancing carbon removal, SKIMS is proud to donate proceeds from our SKIMS Ultimate Nipple Bra sales to @1PercentFTP, a global organization that exists to ensure our planet and future generations thrive," Skims added in a follow-up statement. In fact, Kim put the number at 10% of sales for the "global network with thousands of businesses and environmental organizations working together to support people and the planet." So, what is 1% For the Planet?
1% for the Planet is, according to its website, an organization that exists so that "When businesses say they give back, we make sure they do." It boasts a membership system where "1% for the Planet members commit to donating at least 1% of annual sales directly to environmental organizations. We certify every donation to ensure businesses meet that commitment."
Now, to me (and remember, a bug kept me up throughout the night) this begs the question: Why not just become a 1% for the Planet member? It strikes me, a peasant, as...odd to support a group that wants businesses to donate their money to environmental organizations without actually going ahead and also donating. Feels a tad great for thee but not for me, but I guess it's better than nothing!
Nylon further releases microplastics and is a significant part of ocean waste. It can be recycled more than once, but, as the Guardian notes, "provided it has not been blended with other fibre types."
And how sustainable is Skims overall? Their website says, "At SKIMS, we are committed to the highest ethical standards and legal compliance in all aspects of our business and product supply chain. We only work with suppliers and vendors who we believe in and share our commitment to sustainability, accountability and transparency."
Meanwhile, Good On You has given Skims a "We avoid" rating, saying it "provides insufficient relevant information about how it reduces its impact on people, the planet and animals."
So, what's the point I'm making here? That when brands make environmental claims, we should ask as many questions as possible? That perhaps sustainable fast fashion is an oxymoron? That mosquitos are my own personal devil?
Anyway, nipple bra!
BuzzFeed has reached out to Skims for comment.