Woman wonders if she should give her in-laws’ gift back: ‘They obviously don’t care about you’

·3-min read

A woman felt insulted by the thoughtless christening gift her parents-in-law gave her daughter, and she’s wondering if she should give it back to them.

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The woman shared her situation on Reddit’s “InLaws” forum and explained that, while her relationship with her in-laws has always been strained, she is feeling particularly alienated by them now that she has a baby. She is not only wondering whether to give back their christening present, but also whether it would be appropriate to keep her daughter away from them entirely.

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The woman explained that, for some reason, it seems as if her in-laws have always disliked her.

“My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years and all these years, his parents haven’t even asked me a single question about me, my family, or what I do for a living,” she wrote. “When we got married in the court, there was no congratulations from them, no one said anything.”

At one point, the woman’s sister-in-law gave birth to a baby girl. Her in-laws responded by pressuring her to give birth as well. This was particularly insensitive because the woman had lost pregnancies in the past.

“The father said that I should hurry up and give birth too,” she wrote. “Before that we lost two pregnancies, one was ectopic which resulted in me losing one of my fallopian-tubes.”

Finally, the woman gave birth to a healthy baby girl. But, once again, it wasn’t enough for her in-laws.

“They seemed disappointed and never even try to hide it,” she wrote. “At our baby shower the mother was visibly angry that the baby was a girl.”

Things came to a head recently when the woman invited her extended family to celebrate her daughter’s christening. She explained that, where she lives, it is tradition that the in-laws give an expensive and thoughtful christening gift. However, while her in-laws did give a gift, the woman found it thoughtless and insulting.

“They brought a card with nothing written in it and 500 Danish [Krone] ($60),” she explained. “I broke down and cried when I opened their card.”

Now, the woman is wondering whether to return the gift and keep her daughter away from her in-laws.

“It seems like they’re punishing my child for something I have done (I don’t know what),” she wrote. “My husband said they keep mentioning me not inviting them for dinner, but in the past I invited them and cooked for them, [and] they have never invited me for dinner.”

Time for a serious conversation

Readers advised the woman to reduce contact with her in-laws and have a serious conversation with her husband about their behavior.

“Give back as much effort as they’ve given you. Nothing,” one reader commented.

“Why is your husband allowing his family to treat you so poorly?” another reader questioned.

“I would reduce or completely cut contact with them. They obviously don’t care about you, or your daughter,” commented another reader.

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