Woman concerned by boyfriend’s ‘disrespectful’ surprise drop-ins: ‘I think [he’s] checking in on me’

A woman is questioning some of her boyfriend’s actions after her father offered some insight.

When she tells her boyfriend she’s home alone, he always shows up unannounced. She thought he was making romantic gestures, but her father thinks the boyfriend is making sure she’s really home. She asked Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum for help.

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“I think my boyfriend is checking up on me,” she wrote. “My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) have been dating for almost a year and a half. A few months ago he finally started driving, and ever since then if I tell him that I’m not in the mood to see him that night, or that I just wanna stay in, most of the times he will show up unannounced and just bring me something sweet to eat or something like that.”

She thought it was “the cutest thing on earth” until her father offered a more cynical point of view.

“He insinuated that my boyfriend is checking up on me, to see if I’m actually staying at home or if I’m going out,” she explained. “I was actually kind of shocked because it makes sense. Most of the time when I say that I am not feeling like going out, or where I’m like I’ll call you at around 10 or 11 PM, he shows up.”

She added that her boyfriend is a “romantic person,” even more so than her, but this “just seems a little off.”

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Redditors agreed that his behavior was suspicious.

“So in itself you could say that it isn’t that bad, a bit disrespectful, pushing boundaries, maybe he means well. But pushing boundaries when you have said that you want time to yourself is not romantic or cute at 25,” a user said.

“If you say to him that you’re not in the mood to spend time with him, and he shows up anyway, it’s weird,” a person wrote.

“When you tell him you want to be by yourself it is kind of inappropriate to show up,” a TikToker replied.

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