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Why is being a bride just so... cringe?

why is being a bride just so cringe
Why is being a bride just so... cringe?Jaime Lee - Getty Images

It all starts with a Whatsapp group. Well, an engagement actually, followed by three Prosecco-fuelled hours of FaceTiming, crying down the phone and asking your best friends if they'll be your bridesmaids for Your Big Day™. A genuine moment of joy is marked by the creation of a sparkly new chat titled Becky's Bridal Babes - and subsequently drowned by the most self-inflicted cringe you've ever felt in your life.

If you've ever been a bride, you'll know what I'm talking about. That creeping awkwardness that overtakes you, sometimes quite literally manifesting in a rash, when it comes to asking people for, well, anything to do with your wedding. The fear you feel in your toes when you have to request your guests to be at a certain venue for a certain time. The impending doom of expectation that instantly emerges at the sheer thought to your upcoming nuptials.

why is being a bride just so cringe
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Yes, I know. This might sound facetious. Getting married is a wonderful thing, and putting on a party for your friends and family is a privilege that should be treasured. It's a big deal in your life, and there is surely nothing better than filling a room with your favourite people (and finding your person.) But that doesn't placate the fact the whole industry feels... kind of embarrassing.

As one bride-to-be put it, "I can't be the only one that feels this way. I'm getting married in a couple [of] months, and something about weddings and bridal things makes me cringe so hard. I can't explain it... It gives me the ick. I hate being the centre of attention. I want a wedding. [But] that is cringe to me."

Others replied with similar sentiments. "I agree; the whole spectacle feels wasteful - I'm planning our wedding now and it's been hard" and "I feel the same way - it's just so cheesy."

Someone else summarised, "YES! It's cheugy to me and I can't shake the feeling."

It's not the marriage itself, but rather the whole circus that comes attached to a wedding day. The expectation to look the best you've ever looked. The first dance (despite the fact you've never had any desire to clumsily sway while 150 people look on), paired with the overwhelming sense of occasion.

Seriously, why does it just feel so cheesy? The white dress. The cake. The being walked down an aisle. AGH. I know you don't have to follow tradition for tradition's sake, and so many brilliant brides throw alternative weddings, but there's definitely an assumption of what the day should look like.

And then, of course, there's the financial aspect. You're essentially asking people to spend their hard earned cash on you - whether that's for transport, bridesmaids dresses or accommodation - and that can feel challenging, adding to that inevitable pressure that comes with being centre stage.

As Alex Cooper from Call Her Daddy summarised in a post of her own, "If you are the [bride] that is asking your friends to go to Greece for your bachelorette [hen do], knock it off.

why is being a bride just so cringe
Getty Images

"Unless you are paying for everything - you've got the plane, you've got the tickets, you've got the Airbnb - with love to you, Rochelle, I don't want to have to go Greece, take time off work, and pay to go to your bachelorette."

In a cost of living crisis, it's uncomfortable to feel like you're asking your friends and family to fork out for something that is ultimately your choice, even if you know inherently that they want to support you. Like, you can logically recognise that they might want to make those sacrifices of their own accord, but it still feels like you're forcing their hand.

But ultimately, maybe that's what it's about. Accepting that your loved ones are there for you, and want to do what they can - providing you're not asking for anything that you wouldn't do for them in return. Yes, it feels awkward and a bit cringe. And yep, being centre of attention might not be your natural position. But such is the nature of being a bride - it's not called Your Big Day™ for nothing.

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