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"Their Way Of Life Is No Longer Available": People In Their 20s And 30s Are Sharing The Realities They Wish Their Parents Understood

anne hathaway saying,
Paramount

I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share some things that they wish parents would attempt to understand about being a millennial or Gen Z'er today, and the responses were extremely eye-opening. Here is what some had to say.

the inside of a college classroom

—Anonymous

Maskot / Getty Images/Maskot

2."I had exactly this discussion with my parents yesterday. I need them to understand I won't prioritize work over my mental health or personal time. If any company tries to pull that, I'll quit in a second."
lum3

3."My immigrant parents absolutely REFUSE to believe the 'American dream' is basically dead. They think that anyone can get any job — and that job will be enough to pay for their basic needs. It explains why they don't really get the stress me and other university students feel when we’re frantically searching for jobs that’ll give us the life they moved to this country for."
laidedahunsi

A person on their laptop

—Anonymous

Kinga Krzeminska / Getty Images

5."I'm asexual, and my mom keeps pressuring me to date casually. What she doesn't seem to understand is that causal dating — to a lot of people — means casual sex. While I believe it is possible to be ace and have casual sex, it just isn't something I personally feel comfortable with. As for why I'm not trying for a serious relationship right now, I'm graduating from college soon and likely moving to another state. And more importantly, I just don't feel like dating right now."
—Anonymous

6."I wish they understood how the definition of 'success' has changed. My boomer folks lived on one teacher's salary, were able to buy a home and cars, raised three children, had no student loan debt, and were able to retire at 65. That way of life is no longer available to future generations."
seekyou

a hand touching a phone screen

—Anonymous

Lacheev / Getty Images/iStockphoto
a wedding cake being cut in half
Peter Dazeley / Getty Images

9."The fear we have of school shootings and mass shootings in general. I still remember having a class discussion about leaving the room during a fire alarm a few weeks after Parkland. My mom didn't understand why I was so worried, because 'it probably won't happen at my school.' Statistically, it could have."
—Anonymous

a woman working on her laptop while holding a baby

—Anonymous

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11."I wish my parents would realize that complaining about my significant other doesn't mean I want or need to break up with them. Sometimes, I just need to vent — but I still love my partner."
—Anonymous

12."My mother called me recently and told me that my sister (21) was in DEEP trouble because she went out at 9 p.m. and wasn't back until midnight and how my parents had no idea where she was. So, as a punishment, she was sent to bed early. I was silently confused for a moment before pointing out that my sister is an adult, and if she wants to stay out late, that's her business. My mother got all huffy at that, because to her, my sister is still a child that lives with her. I worry that my sister isn't getting the chance to be an actual adult — because our mother won't even let her do her own laundry or change her own bed sheets. I appreciate that they're not pressuring her to move out and find her own place, but they might be bubble-wrapping her to never move and be independent."
retrocrebbon

a therapist talking to a client

—Anonymous

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14."That just because they had to suck up their problems and carry on doesn't mean we have to. Sometimes, I feel like not overworking ourselves to prioritize our mental health is often mistaken as laziness, which isn't always the case."
kittenswithmittens

a man talking to an elderly man
Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images

16."My parents are very understanding and willing to adapt to almost anything I need. However, I feel like I can’t share things with them like the fact that I don’t want children or that I’m no longer Christian because I feel like it’ll affect our relationship negatively. It sucks that I can’t be completely honest with them."
danceram1

a young person talking to a doctor in an office

Is there anything else you wish your parents understood about being a young adult today? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below.