Hi friends and fellow viewers of one of the greatest reality shows of our time: Vanderpump Rules. It is time to discuss yet another episode of this glorious television show!
Season 11's second episode — entitled — "The Ultimate Betrayal" premiered last night on Bravo and is now available on Peacock to stream. And I'm here to do my duty and recap the entire thing for you. So, buckle up, and let's get into it!
This week we start off by being reminded that Ariana's bedroom inside the house she still shares in Valley Village with Tom Sandoval is...well, a mess. But at least she has an en suite bathroom! Then we are reminded that Tom Sandoval's presence on this show is still a thing, and we see him reappear in their shared home (from the bathroom as the toilet flushes, no less) to communicate with his assistant, Ann*.
Tom Sandoval discusses the "grueling" experience of filming a competition reality show in New Zealand (the one where JoJo Siwa carried him, LOL sorry, I can't let you forget) and how this reality show was also a way to "punish himself." I think it was probably just another way for him to get attention and a reality television paycheck but ok? I guess?
Anyway, Tom Sandoval then goes on to discuss how he is going to meet up with (former?) BFF Tom Schwartz later in this episode. Ann asks if the two of them are ok, and Tom Sandoval replies, yes, that he thinks so, but then says in a talking head that "things are very much not okay between Schwartz and I."
We then find out that Tom Sandoval's birthday is tomorrow, and he wants to have a get-together at his house (that he still shares with Ariana). When Ann looks slightly uncomfortable, Tom Sandoval then says, "Well Ariana is obviously invited if she wants to come." Oh sweetie. I am positive Ariana would rather burn her tongue 134 times in a row than attend a party celebrating you. When Ann says as much (but in a nicer way), Tom Sandoval offers to get Ariana a nice hotel room for the night so that she doesn't have to be there while people are celebrating his birth.
Ariana and Tom Sandoval share more about what it's been like to continue living together despite everything that happened with Tom Sandoval, describing it as "awkward." Duh? Ariana goes on to explain that Tom Sandoval has done some "weird things" like open her mail and put her new license plates on her car (???) and his whole white noise machine thing. Which, according to him, is to prevent Ariana and her friends from overhearing his conversations. I can't imagine that what he's saying is that important or that they would even care, but I digress...
Ariana is then approached by (a visibly nervous) Ann about Tom Sandoval's wish to have a birthday party (at their shared house) tomorrow. I mean, first of all, 24 hours notice is kind of wild. Let's give Ariana at least a week's notice my dude. But even so, I can't imagine this is something Ariana would ever consider. And obviously, I am correct because she tells Ann, "That's not happening." She then says that "if there are people here making noise, I will call the cops." Ariana girl I love you but THE COPS??? It's 2024 baby???? We do not call the LAPD for noise complaints! Please. Let's maybe just put dead fish in his bed or something???
We're with Lisa Vanderpump now as she prepares for some sort of farewell party at PUMP which closed after 10 years. LVP explains that the rent was going up and sometimes it's smarter to walk away in business. I don't really have strong feelings about PUMP closing, I mean I did spend my 26th birthday there which was iconic — but I've also tasted a Pumptini, and lemme tell you: I could do without ever doing that again.
Now, on to James and Ally taking a walk and discussing his DJ career or whatever. While on this walk, Graham Cracker — Rachel and James's dog they had together — is brought up, and it's clearly a producer plot, and I'll be honest I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand, I do believe that there are two sides to this story and that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. On the other, we are clearly not getting Rachel's side of this story on this season since she left the show. So where does that leave us? James said he could imagine Graham in the "cactus-infested land of Arizona" which is kind of funny because Southern California definitely has cacti but whatever??? Maybe James isn't seeing any cacti near his turf grass in Burbank.
Back to Valley Village we go and it's time to once again see Tom Sandoval. We see his friend Jason come over while Tom Sandoval explains that since #Scandoval he's lost a lot of long-term friends. This man is apparently the manager of Tom Sandoval's band whose name I do not care to google right now, and he asks Tom if he's heard from Rachel, to which Tom replies, "Not in a few weeks." The lightning bolt postcards beg to differ.
He then tells his friend that Ariana said he could not have people over for his birthday, to which his friend replies, "Is she allowed to tell you that?" Ann then chimes in with, well, she did say she would call the police, to which Tom Sandoval says, "Ariana is still very upset." LOL, you think? Tom Sandoval then offers a compromise of having a small group of people and making everyone leave by midnight.
Time for a Lala and Ariana meetup! Lala asks about the living situation with Tom Sandoval, and Ariana brings up the fact that Tom Sandoval wants to have people over for his birthday. Ariana is clearly looking for some backup with her decision of "hell no" to the Tom Sandoval party but instead gets Lala saying, "Well, from a logical standpoint he's allowed to have a party at his house." To which Ariana responds, "That's true, but I'm also allowed to call the cops for a noise complaint." NOT THE COPS AGAIN. ARIANA. PLZ. WE ARE ROOTING FOR YOU.
Lala then asks the question we are all thinking: Wouldn't it just be easier to move out? Ariana explains that she will, when the house is sold, and that she views all of this as a way of Tom Sandoval trying to "assert his dominance." Lala counters that he actually "gets off" on making Ariana feel uncomfortable, and the longer she stays in this situation, the more he likes it.
Lala then asks how Ariana's current boo Dan feels about all of this, and she says they've been "paying a lot of money when he comes into town to stay somewhere." Girl, get out of there. 😭
Lala asks Ariana if Dan has changed Ariana's mind about "starting a family." And, like, I get these two are friends, but who asks this?? Can we stop asking women this?? Please? But anyway, Ariana says that she does feel more open to it and that Tom Sandoval being her partner impacted this decision a lot more than she thought it did.
Over to the PUMP closing/bye bye/whatever party now. If I sound bitter, it's because I wasn't invited to this closing party, and as someone who has spent a stupid amount of money at LVP's establishments over the years, I would've liked to have been!!! But anyway, they give us a cute little montage of PUMP's greatest hits or whatever and all the memories of those guys wearing those tight pink shirts. Then Scheana, Lala, Katie, Ariana, and Tom Schwartz show up. Tom Schwartz gets behind the bar and starts "bartending" which seems to go better than last time he tried to bartend at PUMP in 2014 (if you know you know).
LVP and Tom Schwartz have a little 1-on-1 chat with Tom Schwartz revealing that he "and his partners" at Schwartz and Sandy's asked Tom Sandoval to step away from the business for a bit. Apparently, he's literally not welcome inside. I suppose this makes sense from a business perspective. But you know what would possibly make even more sense from a business perspective? Not going into business with the Toms in the first place. But I digress!
Thankfully, the LVP and Schwartz scene is brief, and we're on to Scheana and her husband visiting a music studio (while a SCREAMO version of "Good As Gold" plays, btw) to discuss her new music that she's working on. "Good As Gold" is still a bop, btw, and it was actually very difficult for me to talk myself out of spending $50 for the record of this song at BravoCon last year.
Okay kids, it's time for a Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz meetup. Tom Sandoval shares that he is currently sober, and that one of the catalysts was Rachel entering some type of sober living facility so that he could better support her when she got out. The boys start chattin', and Tom Sandoval explains that he had to go on tour because his "bank account was overdrawn." He also shares that Ariana has allegedly not paid any of the bills in eight months and that he's covering "the mortgage, gardener, cleaning, utilities" and that it's like "pulling teeth" to get Ariana to pay him back. Which...wait a minute??? Didn't this man allegedly offer to "buy Ariana out" of the house? With what money??????
Schwartz said that Scheana extended an olive branch to him, which has Sandoval asking Schwartz, "Are you going to stick with me or what?" Schwartz then says, "I feel like I'm gonna do what's best for me." No offense, but when has he not done that? :)
Back to Scheana and Brock and we see Scheana preparing for her friend Tori to watch Summer, Scheana's daughter, for the night. And suddenly, I see the pink hair on Tori, and I realize...IS THIS THE WOMAN THAT BOTH KATIE AND TOM SCHWARTZ KISS THIS SEASON ACCORDING TO THE SEASON TRAILER?? OMG.
Brock says, again, that he's been "asking for this for months" and then goes on in a talking head talking about how before they had Summer, Scheana was different, and he just "misses his wife having a good day." You know who else probably misses this, Brock?? SCHEANA. He explains that day-to-day simple tasks have become overwhelming, and Scheana's mom chimes in and says that he should validate Scheana's feelings, to which he retorts, "She has the two of you doing that." OMG. This man, you guys. Am I really about to put Brock at the top of my enemy list above Tom Schwartz for the moment? I think I am.
Scheana's mother reminds Brock that while, yes, she does validate Scheana, HE IS HER HUSBAND, AND SHOULD ALSO TRY TO FUCKING DO THAT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Sorry she did not say "fucking." I did, though. Brock then tries to claim that Scheana only surrounds herself with "yes people," and, like, honestly I am not even sure what that means in the context of this conversation, and I think he sucks so I am moving on. Scheana is clearly struggling, and I wish that her husband was more empathetic toward her. A little bit of empathy goes a long way.
*Deep breaths* Ok, we've moved on from Brock and Scheana, and we're over to Burbank to see James and Ally's house with Tom Schwartz who brings another plant. Ugh, I do love plants. Fine, maybe Brock will replace Schwartz as currently most hated man for me on VPR after all.
Ally discusses her astrology business, which btw costs you a whopping $195 for 45 minutes, before proceeding to do a birth chart for Tom Schwartz. He is apparently VERY Libra. Anyway, I still want Ally to do my chart.
While they are discussing Tom Schwartz's Libra ways, James receives a text from Tom Sandoval who invites him over to this little birthday gathering. Fast-forward to the next scene, and we see Tom Sandoval setting up for his little birthday shindig complete with balloons and all.
Upstairs, Katie and Ariana are hidden away in her room getting ready for their "emo nite." They end up going to the event along with Lala, Scheana, and (UGH) Brock.
James and Ally decide to make an appearance at Tom Sandoval's birthday party thing, and in the car on the way over, James admits that he feels like he really needs a meaningful apology from the guy he used to consider a very good friend.
James and Ally finally pull up to Valley Village, and Ally decides to wait in the car because she says she never had a relationship with Tom Sandoval anyway, and she cares about Ariana so she doesn't see a point in going inside. James, however, does go inside, and you can feel the tension between Tom Sandy and James as they embrace for an awkward side hug.
James Kennedy asks Tom Sandoval if he is "sorry for betraying him," and Tom Sandoval starts talking about how James Kennedy got with Kristen Doute 10 years ago, and honestly, it's a bit hard for me to follow because James Kennedy then stands up and tells Tom Sandoval, "You've got so much growing up to do. It's sad to me." Tom Sandoval says, "So you want me to take accountability but you won't?" James Kennedy does not entertain this conversation and leaves — but not before peeing on their bushes outside. Ally says, "That's Ariana's bush, too" and then, folks, the episode ends.
That's it for this week. I'll see you back here next week for a brand new episode!
And don't forget, you can watch this episode and every other episode of Vanderpump Rules now on Peacock.