Tarek El Moussa Is ‘Grateful’ for 2 Months He Spent in Rehab After Split: ‘I Was a Terrible Husband, Father’

The HGTV star reflected on his time at the rehab facility in his new memoir ‘Flip Your Life’

<p>Tarek El Moussa/ Instagram</p>

Tarek El Moussa/ Instagram

  • Tarek El Moussa revealed he had a dangerous addiction to testosterone in his new book ‘Flip Your Life’

  • He recalls feeling like he neglected his then-wife, Christina Hall, and their children because the substance turned him into a different person

  • The HGTV star eventually checked into a “halfway house” for two months and got the help he needed

Tarek El Moussa opens up about the impact his steroid addiction had on his family in his new book, Flip Your Life: How to Find Opportunity in Distress—in Real Estate, Business, and Life.

In the memoir, the Flip or Flop alum, 42, writes about being prescribed anabolic testosterone in the aftermath of beating cancer twice and undergoing back surgery. "I told [the doctor] about my history with cancer. Then she explained that my exhaustion was obviously a consequence of my testicular cancer," he writes.

While the prescription did help him feel more energized at first, he reflects on how quickly he became dependent on the steroid. It had him feeling “like Superman” one moment and “seized by anger and fear” the next.

These “terrifying lows” he experienced started taking a toll on his then-wife, Christina Hall, 40, and their two children, Taylor and Brayden, now 13 and 8 respectively.

Related: Tarek El Moussa Addresses Steroid Addiction and 'Very Public' Divorce in Personal New Book

“I would come home and be so strung out, so raw, that I couldn’t even talk to Christina; I couldn’t talk to Taylor or play with Brayden,” he writes.

El Moussa continues: “I would walk upstairs and close the door. I would sit in front of my computer, thinking about nothing. More often than not, I’d sit there simply staring at the wall. I was a terrible husband, father, friend, and son.”

He adds that his addiction played a significant role in the downfall of his marriage to Hall. The pair officially announced their split in Dec. 2016 following a highly publicized gun incident that occurred seven months prior in May.

Related: Tarek El Moussa Finally Tells His Version of Gun Incident That Ended Marriage to Christina Hall (Exclusive) 

<p>Heidi Gutman-Guillaume</p>

Heidi Gutman-Guillaume

El Moussa camped out on their boat after the altercation and he decided to quit the testosterone he’d been taking regularly “cold turkey” in the hope that he could win Christina and his family back.

However, quitting the steroid so abruptly led to a dangerous ”biochemical shock,” he writes, which made his mental state even worse.

After seeing the condition he was in, a concerned friend quickly connected him with Dr. Drew Pinsky who arranged for El Moussa to check into a rehab facility, which he refers to as a “halfway house occupied by mostly heroin addicts” in the book.

Cover art for El Moussa's book 'Flip Your Life' out Feb. 6.
Cover art for El Moussa's book 'Flip Your Life' out Feb. 6.

Related: Tarek El Moussa Reveals He Lived in a Halfway House After Divorce From Christina Hall: ‘I Didn’t Trust Myself’

“I lived at the rehab center for two months, and during that time—away from the glare of the spotlights—I talked to several therapists,” he writes. “Every day consisted of regular support sessions and counseling.”

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The Flipping El Moussas star continues: “It would be hard to put into words how grateful I am for the many, many kindnesses—and frankly, the tough love—that I experienced there, from that first phone call to Dr. Drew to the many counseling sessions at the center. When I left, I still had a ton of work to do. But those two months gave me enough to keep fighting for my life.”

Flip Your Life: How to Find Opportunity in Distress — in Real Estate, Business and Life is out now.

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