Single mom refuses to raise her kids to be ‘nice’: ‘Being nice is so played out’

·2-min read

This mom doesn’t want to raise “nice” children – but before you dismiss her, hear her out. 

Destini Ann is a single mother who shares practical parenting advice with her 1.1 million TikTok followers. 

Last July, the mom declared that she isn’t nice and doesn’t want nice children either. And for a very good reason.

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“Being nice is just so played out,” the mom explained. “I don’t want my kids to be nice, I don’t want my kids to be agreeable. I don’t want them to think they’re only valuable if they’re doing something for somebody.” 

She asserted that “nice people” don’t exactly have the necessary boundaries to prevent them from feeling taken advantage of. 

“Kind people on the other hand,” she said, “they can respect people in ways that don’t disrespect themselves. They can give to other people without completely emptying their own cups.” 

The mom referred to herself as an “OG people pleaser” and her stance came from not wanting her children to make the same mistake. 

Destini Ann’s first tip was that parents should respect their children’s “no.” Allowing kids to set their own boundaries as often as possible will make it easier for them to say no in real life.

Next, the mom advised parents to be able to say no themselves in order to lead by example. 

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“Lastly, remind your kids every single day that their value is inherent,” she said

Don’t just praise children when they do things you like or behave in ways you approve of. Let them know their worth is unconditional. 

People thought Destini Ann’s advice was actually pretty great. 

“I have been a people pleaser my whole life and I’m doing my best to raise my kids to break the cycle,” one user said

“Can’t wait to pass this onto my kids,” another wrote

“You’re raising me at this point,” someone joked

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