It's Been A Rough Couple Of Days, So Please Enjoy These Signs That Made Me Laugh So Hard, Milk Actually Dribbled From My Nose

We're almost halfway through September, so to help everyone get through the other half, let's take a moment and enjoy some signs from r/funnysigns on Reddit. Guaranteed to make you laugh or at least blow some air through your nose:

1."The most honest product description ever written??"

A long, handwritten note begging customers to buy these $2 thin, round, multicolored items that the store can't identify (but may be noise-makers) and doesn't know who orders them, but they keep coming every other month

u/Bubble_Babe_0o0o0o

The sign says: "We honestly don't really know what these are. They make a funny noise and are good for killing 5 minutes, but other than that we're at a loss. We didn't even order them. We receive a package of them every other month with no return address. We contacted the postal service and they have no record of these packages ever being shipped. Please buy them. We want them gone. We don't know what's going on. We have thousands of them. Help."

u/Bubble_Babe_0o0o0o / Via reddit.com

2."Very clever advertising."

A tabby cat on the pavement with a handwritten sign hanging off them "Garage sale!! Follow me!"
u/Pumuckl4Life / Via reddit.com

3."Consider this a warning. 🧀"

Sheet of paper with printed text tucked under a car windshield wiper: "Next time you take up two parking spots, I will line your car with slices of cheese; consider this a warning — gonna smell bad" with images of sliced American cheese and a car
u/GryphonSK / Via reddit.com

4."Buy new batteries!"

Display of cucumbers with handwritten sign: "No batteries? No problem!"
u/Bubble_Babe_0o0o0o / Via reddit.com

5."So civilized. ✌️"

Sign: "Attention: All disputes settled by rock paper scissors!"
u/GryphonSK / Via reddit.com

6."Sorry, not sorry!"

Street construction sign on a gate: "Sorry for the inconvenience: If Rome was built in a day we would have used the same contractor"
u/Smoking- / Via reddit.com

7."Always a good idea. 🍑"

Sign with a "c" missing: "Please keep anal area tidy — Waterways Ireland"
u/GryphonSK / Via reddit.com

8."Found this at my local farmers market."

Street regulatory sign: "Please: No smoking, no dogs, no smoking dogs"
u/BrainySalvation / Via reddit.com

9."Can’t get more clear than that."

Sign: "Notice: The patio is currently not open because it's closed"
u/MemorableKidsMoments / Via reddit.com

10."This movie sounds absolutely unhinged."

Three-line movie-theater awning: "Oppenheimer / Bottoms / The Nun II"
u/mcpapajohn / Via reddit.com

11."The trailer for the next superhero movie."

Street directional signs: "Nuclear Power Plant" and "Spider Farm"
u/Both-Pie-6246 / Via reddit.com

12."Saw this while doing DoorDash in a neighborhood. 😂"

Street warning sign: "Wildlife crossing"
u/Much_Ad2321 / Via reddit.com

13."Accident-free since Joe left."

Building sign: "This work center has been accident-free since [filled in:] Joe left"
u/Lmanwell23 / Via reddit.com

14."My English language arts teacher has this sticker on her whiteboard."

Sign: "Let's eat kids; Let's eat, kids: Punctuation Saves Lives"
u/kc5f / Via reddit.com

15."Cats have their own agenda."

Warning sign: "Beware of the dog; the cat is not trustworthy either"
u/flattenedbricks / Via reddit.com

16."Blame that guy."

Notice: "24-hour video surveillance: Blame the guy who kept pooping here"
u/oliverjack0900 / Via reddit.com

17."It’s almost fall, y’all."

Store sign for MJ's Steel City Sports Bar & Grill: "It's candy corn season for all u crayon eating psychopaths"
u/Quick_Presentation11 / Via reddit.com

18."But now what can we do?"

Sign: "When leaving please turn off the lights" with a flat plate where the switch should be
u/InnerIngenuity3687 / Via reddit.com

19."Why are you so worried, door?"

Sign on a door: "This door is alarmed after 5 pm"; handwritten below it: "Before then, it's just generally anxious"
u/Pumuckl4Life / Via reddit.com