Editor’s Note: This article contains mentions of weight-related bias and oppression. Please take care while reading, and note the helpful resources at the end of this story.
In a TikTok posted over the weekend, plus-sized fashion influencer Remi Bader (@remibader) opened up about the “ridiculous amount” of comments she receives about her body, which have become so “disgusting” that she’s putting an end to how much health information she shares online.
“I’m not going anywhere,” the influencer noted in her post caption, “but my personal health journey will no longer be shared with you all.”
“I really try to not look at the really mean things online the best that I can, because it really saves my mental health by not looking at it,” Bader said. “But there are some things that come up in my comments that I can’t not see and there’s been a ridiculous amount lately of just the body shaming and saying things I already know. Like, I don’t need to hear it again.”
According to Bader, the comments about her weight have become too cruel — and too frequent — to ignore. While she originally wanted to share her health journey with others who might be able to relate to or benefit from her story, Bader said she felt that it was not worth the emotional stress the comments brought her.
“Shaming someone and the way they look, and how — every single day is so disgusting,” Bader continued. “If I’m already taking care of myself and working on the things I need to work on, imagine seeing that every f***ing day.”
Her comments came on the heels of New York Fashion Week (NYFW), which ran from Friday, Sept. 8, through Wednesday, Sept. 13. During that time, Bader was among countless other social media influencers who attended the week’s events and shared her experience behind the scenes. However, Bader’s updates seemed to get much more “real” than others.
After years of feeling like an “outsider” in the fashion world, Bader started her social media platform to fill the missing content space that catered to plus-sized women.
“It was in late Summer 2020 when I started to go to stores, buy seven to 10 items at each store and wait to try them on until I was in front of my camera,” Bader wrote in an essay for In the Know by Yahoo in 2021. “From this experiment, I started to realize that there were actually items out there that fit my body. I had the realization that maybe it was time to laugh instead of cry about the items that didn’t fit my body. I thought maybe it was time to stop blaming myself for the way that the fashion industry operates. It’s simply not my fault!”
Three years later, after launching her influencing career, Bader said the body-shaming comments haven’t stopped.
“I’m taking care of myself the best I can,” Bader said in her latest TikTok, while breaking down in tears. “And I really am asking the people, even if you don’t like me or follow me out of a hate-follow, to just stop commenting on my body.
“You can comment on my character, whatever you think of me as a person or I’m annoying or whatever it is, but please just stop commenting on my body because I’m doing everything I can to make myself feel better,” she continued.
In the comments, fans rushed to her defense.
“I’m sorry the internet is such a mean place,” commented @emhylt0n.
“You’re beautiful and you do what you need to do to care for yourself and your mental health,” added @nicoleashleysmith. “We will still be here! We love you.”
Other users pointed out that hate comments, in general, have become a real problem on TikTok and the platform needs to explore new ways to address it.
“Yeah they do and ill be sending a few emails tomorrow about that,” Bader said in response. “Its enabling bullying and only making people feel bad about themselves. Its not ok.”
If you or someone you know needs support after experiencing weight-related bias or discrimination, contact the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance at 916-558-6880 or via an online form. You can also connect with a Crisis Text Line counselor at no charge by texting the word “HOME” to 741741.
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