Few things are more important than the names we give our pets — but, sometimes, those names turn out to be really, really bad.
U/OkLeather5966 recently asked the people of Reddit, "What's the worst pet name you've ever heard?" You know what, this is going to be controversial — but I think some of these names are actually good? Judge for yourself:
1."My buddy has four dogs. They are all named Gary. He yells 'Gary!' and they all come running."
2."Back when I was a teenager, my stepmom and I decided to go to a PetSmart and get her kid a fish. We got home and were like, 'Look what we got you, what are you gonna name him?' He looks his mom dead in the eyes, clear as day, and says 'Dong!' And we both about pissed ourselves."
3."'Sugar Ass.' What the fuck is that. 🤣"
4."Seefer — as in 'C for Cat.'"
5."Today I saw a cat for adoption named Jetlag...but, tbh, the more I think about it, the more I like it."
6."Dee Oh Gee."
7."I was once talking to someone about our respective cats. When he asked what my cat was called, I said 'Jasper.' He said he didn't like it, and that it's a dumb name for a cat. I asked him what his cat was called, and he said 'Super Cat.'"
8."My neighbor has an orange cat named Titties…"
9."My friend has a cat named Catrick...CATRICK SWAYZE, for real. I love him."
10."A cat named Dog Food."
11."A dorm-mate of mine had his small dog named 'Dad.' It was so confusing, because when we were all moving in, only his mom and siblings were around during the setup process. I lost a bet and asked about the name, and he said, 'He’s called ‘Dad’ because he's actually here and comes back to us all.'"
12."A buddy of mine wanted to name the family dog Stains. His wife vetoed that right away. She said she's not going to be outside yelling 'Come, Stains.'"
13."I went on a date with a woman who brought her dog along — he was called Mozart. She told me he was deaf, so I asked why didn't she call him Beethoven. She said she didn't want to confuse him."
14."Our cat is named Beans; when we got a second cat, I thought Weens was funny — like beanies and wienies. But my wife shot that down, so I named them Toast."
15."Good. Try and train a dog named Good."
16."Working in both the animal sheltering and training community. I have met dogs named Amanda and Buttcheek. I truly cannot decide which is worse. Honorable mentions: Sativa and Hypoxia."
17."I was once at a pet adoption drive, and a precious, extremely social, and friendly pit bull was named 'Dumpster' because she was abandoned and rescued from a dumpster. I thought this was awful. She was so sweet and so adorable. Let's normalize not naming dogs after their trauma."
18."My mom got a new dog in 2019 and named it 'Trumpy' because it had dirty blonde hair that was frizzy. I hate that dog and don't talk to my mom anymore."
19."My dog’s name is Bro. I really enjoy calling him Bro."
20."After working in vet med for five years? Bella and Luna. There’s many more names out there, use them!!!!"
Got your own suggestions? See you in the comments!
These posts have been edited for length and clarity.