Reddit user u/_Brunonono_ posed the question: "What's something you can't tell your partner for fear of upsetting them?" The thread quickly filled with a mix of surprisingly wholesome and low-key heartbreaking revelations. Here's what people shared:
1."'I shrank your new (and expensive) sweater by mistakenly washing it with my clothes on regular. When I realized what happened, I hid it until you went to the store and then stuffed the now-too-small sweater back into the laundry. When you later hand-washed it and discovered it no longer fit, I was very sympathetic with how irritating it was that the sweater had shrunk, despite you taking every precaution.'"
2."Our kid’s first word was not actually 'apple.' It was 'asshole,' and I worked with her all day to turn it into 'apple' so that that would be what he heard when he got home from work and offered her apple slices with dinner. We’ve both had lives that encouraged foul language and are working to be better. However, our kid is picking up words rapidly. He’s so proud of her, though!"
3."That I wish he was more romantic and sweet. My husband is a doer. He built my dream bathroom, he redid our whole front lawn/front patio area to one I am in love with, and he helped build my home library. But, when it comes to romance, there’s none. I try not to let it bother me since he’s built a home I love, but sometimes, it does bother me."
4."I accidentally said my ex's name when my new-ish S.O.'s alarm was going off because, as it happens, both people are the type to let the alarm ring forever and snooze it at least three times a morning. It went off again, and my 90% asleep brain went, '[Ex's name]! Alarm!' and then I jolted to full awareness, hoping he was still asleep enough to not notice that I definitely did not say the correct name. LMAO."
5."My wife has a beautiful heart. I jokingly call her a Disney princess because any animal that she comes across, she has to talk to and greet. She has cried because she saw a dead raccoon on the side of the road before. Well, one day, I was working a day shift, and she was working a swing shift. I had a busy day, but I saw she sent me some pictures of a young doe that was eating in our front yard. She seemed thrilled. I came home and saw the same deer! Dead. On my freaking porch. I felt like I started to hear The First 48 theme playing as I realized I had six hours to get rid of this thing before my wife got home because her world would be shattered."
"I called my local city authorities thinking they wouldn’t want a dead animal in the middle of town. Turns out, they couldn’t care less. I called some local raptor shelters to see if they could take a donation, but it turned out the dead deer business was booming, and they didn’t have a need for donations at the time, especially in the next six hours. Frustrated, I called my dad to vent and get advice on what to do. His response was, 'Hold on, bud. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.'
I went back inside to take care of the dogs, and within the next 15 minutes, I saw my dad back his huge truck into my backyard. He had the tail gait down and knocked on my door with a pair of nitrile gloves on and another pair in-hand for me. It was starting to get dark out, but we had that thing loaded up and found a special place to, uh, 'dispose' of it. We made it back with 20 minutes to spare before my wife got home. I haven’t told my wife because I think it would either break her heart, or creep her out at how efficiently my dad can dump a body. Anyway, wifey thinks her deer friend is alive and well, and totally not at the bottom of a ravine."
6."'The remote didn't disappear. I accidentally put it through the washing machine and destroyed it, then threw it out in a panic."
7."Not me, but my parents. If my mom wants to hide literally anything from my dad, no matter what it is, she just puts it somewhere where he would have to bend over to see it. Doesn't matter if it's something like a package of Oreos — if my dad has to bend over to find it, he's never going to find it. I tested it with my own snacks when I was still living with them to confirm that it works. He'd be mad if he knew how many snacks we've hidden from him simply because he doesn't bend over low enough to see it in the cabinet."
8."With my first pregnancy, we had agreed that we wouldn’t find out the baby’s sex until the birth. I went to my first ultrasound alone and couldn’t resist being told the sex. So, I knew that whole time, and he never knew I knew (and still doesn’t know). That baby girl is 25 years old now."
9."My husband has some clothes I don't like, so I put them at the back of the closest. They're not hidden; they're in the closet where they're supposed to be. But, I know him. He's going to take out the first thing that's not completely unsuitable to wear, and that's what he'll put on for the day. He's not going to go to the back and get out that horrible shirt from behind his nice ones ever."
10."I wanted my husband to quit wearing denim shorts because they made him look old. He had gained a bit of weight, so I kept buying his jorts in his old size, 34, and I bought khaki shorts in a 38. He will never read a label for any reason. He would put on the jorts, and then lay on the bed and lift and spread his legs to stretch out the shorts a bit. He blew out the back seam of two pairs in the same day, then ended up putting on the khaki shorts. Since then, almost 20 years, he has insisted that khaki shorts are made better and fit more comfortably than denim shorts of the same size."
11."'Yes, physically your brother IS hotter. But, your personality puts you over the top.'"
12."The first piece of jewelry I bought my wife was a necklace. We went on holiday, and she lost it. I said I would replace it, but it wasn’t the same. She was upset that she’d lost it for sentimental reasons. I emailed the hotel, and, of course, they hadn’t found it. So, I bought a replacement and told my wife they found it."
13."That I slept with her best friend before they ever knew each other (back in high school). It's just something that doesn't need to be known."
14."His favorite dip is, like, 80% mayo. He has a terrible aversion to mayo. His mom has made it for him his entire life; she just does so when he's not around. Now I continue the charade. It's a really good dip."
15."He was scammed on my engagement ring. The website he ordered it from advertises 'lab-grown diamonds,' but you have to really pay attention to the product pages because they will send you glass, NOT the lab-grown diamond that you think you are purchasing. They are able to get away with it on a technicality because their website offers 'lab-grown and simulated diamonds,' and although they sent him a 'certificate of authenticity,' nothing on it says anything about it being a lab-grown diamond. Basically, he paid almost $2,000 on cubic zirconium. It doesn’t matter to me because I love him and want to marry him. I couldn’t care less about the ring. He was so proud of himself for picking out a gorgeous ring (and to be fair, it is a really pretty ring), so this is something I’m gonna be taking to my grave."
16."My wife bought a new perfume and put it on for the first time on our wedding day. It is forever linked to that special day in my memory. Thing is, since then, I've smelled this particular scent on a lot of my patients. It seems to be wildly popular with old women. I don't have the guts to tell my wife that she smells like a grandma to me whenever she puts on the perfume."
17."I really don't like how her parents treat her. She does everything her parents say, in fear of them being mad at her. They will tell her she can do this if she does that first, then they will change what they said she needed to do, or they will claim they never say that. She's 23. We're married, we have a kid on the way, and it feels like any decision we make has to be approved by them. For the record, I've told her this multiple times and she agrees with me...to a certain extent."
18."I daydream/wonder what it would be like to live completely alone...how I wouldn’t have to compromise."
19."On the first date with my ex, she gave me a keychain with her name on it. Months into the relationship, the keychain broke, and it was unfixable. I went online until I found the exact same one and ordered it as an extra fast and expensive shipment. When it arrived, I put my keys on it and proudly showed it to her because of 'how I cleaned it so well that it looked brand new!' I never told her the truth."
20."I only put spiders outside when she sees them. If they're only noticed by me, I let them continue hunting bugs, sometimes with a few soft words of encouragement. You're doing a great job, little guy."
21."That his table manners are terrible. He chews with his mouth open, talks while he’s chewing, slurps his drink, leaves his dishes and napkin behind, rarely pushes in his chair, and sometimes, he says 'gross' after he burps instead of 'excuse me.' I have tried to address these things, but was either too subtle, or it didn’t register with him how serious it is. I trained my kids to use proper manners, and they do, and unfortunately, their dad’s habits bother them, too."
22."One year for Christmas, she was trying to surprise me with something, but I hate surprises. I was out of a job at the time and didn't want anything extreme because I knew I couldn't return the favor. I told myself I wouldn't snoop; I'd just ask a few questions and express that I didn't want anything big because I was poor. She decided to try and casually ask me if I was still interested in a concert for my favorite band, and I immediately knew. Her face gave it away. I knew she got tickets, but it was more. She got us meet-and-greet tickets, and I found out a few days later after her face kept giving it away. Christmas came, and I was right. But, I didn't need to act. I was really happy. It was an amazing gift, and we had an amazing time. She was so proud of herself for pulling it off without telling me. I'll never tell her I knew, just because she was so happy."
23."My boyfriend is often very spoiled from his upbringing. His mom did way too much for him growing up, and as a result, my partner is very, very ignorant about how to do basic adult tasks. I have to show him things a lot. He is also sometimes very lazy, and I have discussed with him how much it irritates me when he doesn’t care about things that matter, such as his appearance, taking care of his skin and body, etc. Just this morning, I got frustrated with him because he didn’t want to shave before going to an orientation for a new job. It’s not anything high-paying, but he should still look his best and make a good impression. I had to repeatedly fuss about how I’ve talked about this before he finally agreed that I’m probably right, and he went to shave. I don’t know why he is so difficult in this regard sometimes. We've had discussions about this repeatedly, and he’s doing better, but he still has his moments."
24."My wife is deadly afraid of worms and caterpillars. Like, screaming-running-crying scared of them. There is a big tree over our house that is infested with tent caterpillars, and sometimes they get inside. My wife thinks this has only happened twice this year. It has actually happened eight or nine times. I just take care of it by myself and don't say a word."
25."I was/still kinda am completely infatuated with a guy at work. It’s been almost a year, and I still can’t stop thinking about him. I thought my relationship was so solid before this crush. Now, it’s making me rethinking our whole eight years."
26."'I'm tired of you promising to do things and not following through with them until much later. I'm not talking about expensive things that take time to save money. I mean simple things, like when you say you are going to do the dishes later, and then they sit there for days.'"
27.Finally: "My in-laws are not nice people in my eyes (they once sneakily fed meat to vegetarians at a party). They don’t treat me well, but my husband allows it. They don’t treat him well either, but he doesn’t see it. Once, he was helping his dad move an outdoor heater, and his brother and brother-in-law started making fun of him in a mean, nasty way right in front of me. 'Oh look, the worst person to ask for help. Ah, he’s already messing it up.' I complete shut it down immediately. They were shocked. I’ve never told him because he worries if he messes up, they won’t love him anymore. He already worries they don’t like him. We’re in a rough patch because of other stuff his family has done and the stuff he’s allowed them to do/say to me over the years. But, I’ve never told him about how they speak about him behind his back. I just can’t do it to him."
Oh my!!! Is there anything, wholesome or otherwise, that you will never tell your partner???
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.