Reddit user u/No_Dependent4663 posed the question: "People who fell out with their best/close friend, what killed it?" The thread quickly filled with stories of all sorts of friend breakups. Here's what people shared:
1."Friends for over 30 years. I was her maid of honor, and she was mine. Godmother to my son. Through the years, we had lost a few friends to disease or accidents, and she was always the first to offer support or a helping hand to those left behind. It was one of her most endearing qualities. When I got diagnosed with cancer, things got hectic between the treatment plan, doctors' appointments, and her living an hour away, so we didn’t get our time together. After the initial treatment, I was back to working and hanging out with her. Then, it went metastatic. I wasn’t allowed to walk for 10 weeks, awaiting femur rods surgery. I was capable other than I wasn’t allowed out of bed. My S.O., son, and close family all worked during the day. I just needed someone to check in on me during that time — someone to make sure I hadn’t fallen, could get my lunch, and had company. She wasn’t working at the time, so I offered to pay her if she could just check in on me a few days a week."
"She seemed very reluctant and said she had just gotten a puppy that needed to be trained, she was still looking for a job, and she wanted to be home when her husband got up for work (he worked the night shift and slept all day). I understood, but even after I was mobile, she was hesitant to reach out and basically backed away further. I asked her, point blank, what I had done, and it boiled down to: I had gotten cancer. OK. I know some people can’t handle it, so I let her off the hook and didn’t try any longer. The worst part is, I hear she periodically puts things on Facebook, praying for me and saying I’m such a mountain of courage...blah, blah, blah. But, what she doesn’t know is that she’s on the 'stay the f*ck away from my funeral' list. Her former godson put her on it and will be enforcing it."
2."Best friends for 12 years. She was a complete bridezilla. Long story short: I was maid of honor and was expected to pay for multiple showers, ended up paying for part of her dress, and was asked to plan/pay for the entire bachelorette trip. I was in the process of building a house, so I said no to the parties and trip (paying, not planning/attending) and was swiftly booted from the wedding. Funny part was, the guy had been cheating on her, and she knew and told me she was gonna leave him. She didn’t. She cheated on him back. He found out while I was with them, and they broke up. Two days later, I got a call they were engaged. So bizarre."
3."We had one argument, and he busted out a list — A LIST — of little issues he had with me. It sent me into a huge spiral of depression. I felt like I was a horrible person and that everybody hated me. I went to therapy, not only to recover, but to figure out what was wrong with me. Then, I talked to my other friends. They assured me they had no issues with me and disagreed with all the points my 'best friend' made. So, yeah. I think that covers it."
4."Without asking, she used my résumé and applied for a dream job I really wanted. She got the job, and I didn’t. She cut me and her family off and relocated with her new boyfriend and new salary. Eventually, she got fired. She left a long voicemail 'venting' about how I’m a bad friend and demanded I reached out to offer her free help applying to new jobs. I just chuckle about it now."
5."Friends for 20 years. I helped her with rides, money, clothes, etc. The first time I asked her for anything was after my husband had brain surgery and needed meds the local pharmacy didn't have. I couldn't leave him alone and could not take him with me, so I asked her to watch him for an hour. She said no, she wanted to go to the store with her boyfriend. I never talked to her again. Thank goodness she didn't have the balls to show up to my husband's funeral."
6."He complained to everyone about me, but was nice to my face. He also told people my insecurities that I had confided in him. During the whole time, I was planning his birthday party, helping him out with his problems, and constantly telling everyone that he was the best person I know. Yeah, I looked like a clown."
7."They literally wanted to be me. They started dressing like me, acting like me, and competing with me. The last straw was when they basically tried to take over my life by purposely not inviting me out in an attempt to isolate me from friends and would try to make a pass at any guy I expressed any interest in. So, overall, I found out they just wanted reactions from me, so I cut them off, and life’s been great since...although they still stalk my social media."
8."I stopped texting her to see how long it would take her to reach out. I was always the first one to text. It's been four years, LOL."
9."One close friend of mine got married last year to a guy that sexually harassed me. I tried to tell her many times before the wedding, but she always wanted to go out with him, too, even when she noticed that I didn't want to hang out with him, so I kind of desisted. I was invited to the wedding, and I went because I still wanted to support her. Haven't heard from her since then. I assume they are still together."
10."I saw him through the worst time of his life and spent every free moment for a month either with him, driving to get him, or driving home from being with him through a long hospital stay. He was family — my brother. Maybe not by blood, but my brother still. Then, I figured out that I'm not straight. He chose to be a hateful idiot, and I lost a brother. I have not blocked him. I have hope that he'll realize his error someday and apologize. Until then, he gets nothing. He tried to reach out to have me as a part of his wedding last year. No apology. I lie awake at night worrying about him, wondering how his scarring is doing, wondering what his wife is like, and still feel haunted by the fire that nearly killed him. We had some good stories. We experienced things I still can't understand or explain. I miss him, but he made his choice."
11."She was sleeping with my boyfriend (now ex) behind my back while still acting like she was my best friend. Slowly over a period of a few weeks, she got real short with me, barely replied, and in the end, just stopped replying/seeing me. Then, she posted a status aimed at me about 'people switching up on you for no reason,' and had her family commenting on how terrible of a person I was for doing that to her. I had no idea what happened, and she didn’t ever respond to me. A few months later, I ended up sending her an apology saying how I was sorry that we drifted apart. No reply. Fast-forward about six months and I found an entire album on my ex’s laptop full of her nudes she had sent him, videos of them doing stuff, everything."
"Before I could even confront her, she had blocked me on everything. Absolutely will not make eye contact with me if she sees me, but still tries to tell people I’m the one who screwed her over. She even had her mother yell 'slut!' at me in a grocery store! Anyway, I packed my stuff up and moved out of the house I had with my ex while he was at work, and sent screenshots of the album to her boyfriend (who then tried to get me to sleep with him as payback...like seriously???). Funny enough, they’re still together to this day. Made me realize how awful of a person she was and always will be. Absolute two-faced rat. Ten-plus years of friendship down the drain over a POS guy."
12."She wanted me to lie to her husband to cover her infidelity. I was in town visiting for the weekend, and the two of us hit the bar, me as designated driver. End of night, she wanted to go home with a random guy she met. That left me heading to her house, alone, where her husband was waiting. She gave me a cover story and told me to really sell it. Hell no. I went there, packed my bag, grabbed my dog, and told him, 'She said to tell you she was going to Michelle’s for poker,' before driving the two hours home. Our friendship has never recovered."
13."We were BFFs from ages 16 to 30. It slowly became apparent that she was a narcissist. I loved her anyway...stupid me. When we were 30, we were all out at a restaurant, and I went to use the bathroom. For some reason, I could hear her voice clear as day, and she was talking so much crap about me! I came out of the restroom, dropped some money on the table, and told her to 'suck my ass.' I left and never looked back. She tried to message me to tell me I was 'crazy.' I blocked her. The last 13 years without her have been great."
14."I worked with them. They were very lazy and constantly started drama between me and our coworkers. I lost pretty much all the respect I had for them."
15."She warned me about my fiancée at the time, now ex-wife, and I didn't listen to her. My fiancée didn't like that and told me I had to pick her or my friend. I picked my fiancée, and then she eventually cheated on me multiple times, including while we had an infant at home. Never been more wrong in my life."
16."I met the best friend I’ve ever had in high school, and we remained super close in college, but during our last year, I became very depressed and withdrew super hard socially. It took a few years for me to bounce back, and by then, we had grown too far apart. We’ve spoken about it, and she says she understands, but we’ve never really recovered. There is too much distance. It’s honestly one of my bigger regrets in life. I miss her all the time."
17."She got a girlfriend. We messaged less and less, even though I did my best to stay consistent. Our hangouts got reduced to zero. I haven't seen her in nine months. She messaged and asked if we could hang out the next week, then left me on delivered after I followed up. That was two months ago. She did this before when she got a boyfriend (for all of two months) — ignored me and her other friends, and then returned. I took her back, I suppose. But, that was years ago. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I know that if she'll ever message back, I'm not sure I will have the same courtesy."
18."We had a two-month railway/backpacking trip through Europe planned, and she flaked out on me and chose to spend the summer with her new boyfriend instead. I ended up doing the two-month trip solo."
19."She blew off my wedding to go to Burning Man with some dude that dumped her shortly after."
20."In hindsight, the friendship was always one-sided, and I’d only hear from them when they needed something — help on projects, money, rides, etc. I went through something traumatic in 2019, and when I could’ve really used a friend, they were unavailable. Not even a phone call. That’s when I moved on. They’ve since tried asking for stuff almost two years later and seem puzzled when I never respond."
21."She started dating this super religious guy and stopped talking to me. We were best friends for 20 years."
22."My best friend for my life through my senior year of high school and I haven’t spoken in 13 years. He went to private college upstate, and we still spoke often throughout college, but didn’t see each other as much. After college, I got married right away and asked him to be my best man, and he turned me down because we were not 'as close' anymore. I offered him a groomsmen position as well, and he turned that down. After that, zero contact. It was sort of like losing a sibling, to be honest."
23."She told me she was in love with me, and that’s why she’d tried to get close to me two years before. I felt hurt and lied to, and then she screamed at me that she was the one who was wronged because I wasn’t in love with her, too. I was married for about eight years at that point, with two small children, and she was pretty much my only close friend back then. It sucked, but I cut it off. I am a woman, and nothing ever seemed more than platonic between us."
24."She skipped my wedding with no explanation or apology. Just sent me a card in the mail and went on like nothing happened."
25."He got married, and his wife decided I was not the kind of person that they want in their mutual lives moving forward. I’d never even met her. They lived in another country at the time, but he and I were friends for 20 years. Strictly, absolutely never crossed a line — totally platonic. It’d be like kissing your brother! Gross. I still get sad every birthday because his midnight phone call was the highlight of my year."
26."I was a giver, and she was a taker. I was always making an effort to drive to see her or give gifts, but she was never reciprocal, even though with others she would make efforts. Eventually, I saw her eyeing my husband, and I was like, NOPE. I cut her off. Not worth all the bad vibes."
27.Finally: "She was constantly lying and telling half truths. You could never trust her or what she was going to do. The final straw was that she behaved inappropriately to my husband, and then tried to make it seem like it was nothing. I know her and could sense her intentions, despite her telling me the opposite. My life has been so much better without her. I never realized how much she caused me stress with her drama."
Have you ever gone through a friend breakup??? Tell us what happened.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.