How to survive as a member of Aussie sport's most tortured fan base

OPINION

Just when you think life is getting you down and you've taken one too many thumpings, comfort yourself with this thought – at least you're not a Parramatta supporter.

Is there a group in Australian sport more tortured, ridiculed and scarred than the blue and gold army?

Only Collingwood fans need apply here.

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It's 35 years and counting for that elusive fifth title at Parramatta.

The premiership window they talk of is looking more like a porthole.

If going out the backdoor of another finals series wasn't bad enough this year, the off-season has been punctuated by one body blow after another.

Seriously, it would be less painful having your fingernails removed one by one by pliers than sit through the Eels' recruitment and lack of retention program.

Reed Mahoney, Isaiah Papali’i, Marata Niukore and Ray Stone won't be there in 2023 and word on the street – or, in this case, Parramatta Road – is Junior Paulo is no certainty to stay and Ryan Matterson may also be on the move.

Bailey Simonsson and Josh Hodgson will join Parramatta in 2023, the latter turning 34 the season he joins.

Hodgson's a class act and was one of the game's elite players at his peak, but that peak was many injuries ago.

Voltaren will be a constant companion and a physio table his second bed by the time he lobs in Sydney's west

If the Eels thought his signing was going to be some sort of panacea for Mahoney's departure to the Bulldogs, they best not log-in to their social media accounts.

It's ugly in there.

Troy Worner is not one of the baggers.

He has a daughter named Ella and also wanted a son so he could name him Steve.

He invited Nathan Hindmarsh to his wedding – Hindy was otherwise committed - and hosts the Parra Cave Podcast from his blue and gold-clad digs.

He refuses to put the boot in but does understand the fans' frustration and anger better than most.

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Worner's first eight years on earth brought four premierships - then nothing but cruel jokes and memes for the next three and a half decades.

Now 43, he lives in hope of witnessing at least one more premiership before he turns his scarf in.

So, how do you keep supporting a club that so consistently lets you down?

"It’s all water off a duck's back to me. I know how long it is since we won it and it doesn’t get easier as every year ticks away, but until we do it there isn’t much we can do as fans," Worner told Yahoo Sport Australia.

"Droughts happen in sport. Souths took 43 years between wins, the Sharks took 50, the Raiders are 27 years into their drought and the Panthers went 18 years."

Worner says the conversation around player retention and recruitment wouldn’t be as loud if the Eels had won a premiership in recent times.

He remains one of Brad Arthur's true believers.

"Our drought will be broken soon and when it happens it will be very, very sweet," he declared.

All fans tread that fine line between optimist and fantasist.

Parramatta fans have been walking it longer than most.

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