Reddit user u/Any_Floor_4178 asked the men of the Reddit community: "Guys who've slept with other guys' girlfriends: Did you feel bad afterward?"
Welp: These men didn't hold ANYTHING back. Their stories were all pretty different, but nonetheless eye-opening. So, here are some men who've had sex with other guys' girlfriends:
1."I used to screw a girl whose boyfriend was a complete shithead (which I observed in person several times). When she and I met, we agreed it was just sex and would never go further. She was honest about her man the entire time (I was hesitant at first), and she invited me to come to a restaurant where they were going to have dinner that night with the promise I'd see how shitty he was (and I did). After that, I thought: 'Fuck this dude.' Did I ever feel bad? No — but I would have if this was some innocent guy (I should add this was an arranged marriage that the family decided to 'try out' for two years before committing). She hated him, but kept being told by her family that she would 'learn to love him.' Her opinion didn't matter, and she had no means of escape — so she did what she wanted behind closed doors. I just so happened to be the one she wanted to do."
"That friend-with-benefits relationship lasted for six years until I met my now-fiancé. Once I realized how much I liked my fiancé, I told my friends-with-benefits partner we had to end things. And because of that, she congratulated me.
My fiancé knows about her, and actually invited her to our wedding because (and I didn't know this until recently) they talk online ALL THE TIME."
2."I hooked up with a woman who had a long-term boyfriend at the time — I didn't know, and we had a few encounters over a two-month period. One day, I was curious and decided to look at her socials, and that's when I found out about him (I never bothered to look before because it was my first time being in a 'friends with benefits' situation, so I was excited and wanted to keep it a secret). As I scrolled down her socials, all I saw were pics of them on expensive dates and trips, and I just felt so bad for the guy. I felt like I had become the thing I hated the most, so that same night, I decided to DM him about the situation and sent him texts to give him proof."
3."I fell asleep with my cousin's girl — she woke up and kissed me. If the respect was mutual between my cousin and I, I would have prevented it. But since it wasn’t (and he was a dick growing up), I just let it happen. The girl enjoyed herself, but she eventually stopped it. We exchanged smoke at a hookah lounge and almost kissed again, so she was into me for a while."
4."I found out one of them was married and tried to track down her husband and inform him, but wasn't able to (as this was a hookup, and I couldn't find her name anywhere). I am pretty sure she used a fake last name — her first name was so common that a fake wouldn't even be needed, but I wouldn't be surprised if that, too, was fake. The other turned out to be in an open relationship. When I spoke to her boyfriend, he knew all about it and asked me straight-up: 'How was it — she's good, isn't she?' I still would have liked to know that fact beforehand, but that wasn't nearly as bad."
5."A recovering fuckboy here: No, I did not feel bad afterward because I hated myself, and I wanted to prove I was lovable. So if I could get attention through the barrier of her being in a relationship, then it was just extra proof that I had value (plus, I could prove to myself that relationships weren't real). I wasn't the one who couldn't be valued by someone else — everyone was just lying about being 'happy.' There were definitely other circumstances, but it always pretty much boiled down to me equating my value as a person with who I could have sex with. I went to therapy and have been happily married for 12 years now — I recommend it."
6."Many years ago, I slept with a coworker several times who had a long-term boyfriend, and...I honestly didn't feel bad about it. We had an amazing connection, and it just sort of happened (and then it happened a few more times). Hypocritical of me, but she went away on an extended trip, and I got the feeling that she was getting close to someone else. I still didn't necessarily feel bad — I just felt jealous, and that sort of snapped me out of it. She said she was going to come clean with her boyfriend, but I don't think she ever did. We hung out a few more times when she got back home, but I heard her lie to her boyfriend a couple of times on the phone about where she was."
7."I had a brief 'friends with benefits' arrangement with a woman who had a boyfriend. I didn't know the guy, and I was young and impetuous at the time. As time went on, I started to feel bad about it. It all came to a head when she told me she wanted to leave him to be with me, and I said no. She asked why not, and I said I couldn't trust her as a girlfriend. And when she asked why, I said, 'You've literally spent the last two months cheating on your boyfriend with me — why else would you think?'"
8."I'm gonna be really honest here: For a long time, I did not care at all. If she wanted to fuck around with me, fuck it — not my sin, not my problem. She's either got problems with her guy or she doesn't take her relationship seriously — I'm not fixing either of those problems, but I can fuck. So this kind of shitty behavior on my part went on for many years. I've slept with quite a few women who were in various stages of relationships (some more serious than others), and I left a wake of destruction. Relationships failed when I came around, and the women were left to pick up the pieces while I moved on and didn't give a fuck."
9."This has happened to me twice. The second time, I met someone at a party I went to with a friend (they hit it off more than we did). We were invited back to her place, and on our way there, she mentioned she's married, her husband traveled a lot for work, and claimed their marriage was open. Well, we started, and about five minutes in, I just felt too damn uncomfortable about the whole situation. I stopped it because I didn't feel good at all. The morning after, I hurried out of there. So, no thanks — not again. The whole thing makes me feel bad."
10."I have a coworker who says, and I quote: 'I don't care if I'm with a cheater — that's her fault. She's the one who chose to cheat, and I'll be the other guy without any guilt.' Personally, I would NEVER be the other man knowingly in that situation. I'm not going to be the person enabling the cheating. I'm not going to put another guy through that heartbreak."
11."Yeah, I did it one time (sadly, I knew she was in a relationship). I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship myself that ended because my significant other cheated on me, so a part of me feels like it was some sort of mental revenge. It was kind of like an 'I’ve been wronged, so I don’t care if I wrong someone else' sort of thing. The next morning, I felt like complete shit, and I still feel awful about it."
12."I did it knowingly during high school. I was dating, and she was, too, but we both had issues in our relationships, and we didn't know how to figure them out. Clinging on to our toxic relationships, we found solace in each other and enjoyed spending time together. We ended up fooling around, and after we had sex, we both stopped. We stayed friends for a while and both continued dating, but eventually, both of us were single. I regret it; he doesn't know about it, but I told my girlfriend, and she accepted my apology (even though we did break up about a year later). I'm not proud of myself, and I still hate myself for it."
13."In college, I was visiting my bud at another school at a house party he and his roommates were hosting. His girlfriend got super drunk and started hitting on me with him out of earshot. I always wondered what her exit plan was...like, we're at his house. How are you expecting to pull this off? I told him the next day (I probably should've right then, but I didn't want to cause a scene at the party)."
14."This is how I lost my dad. After my parents got divorced, my dad started dating this other women who neglected to tell my dad she had a husband in prison. One year passes, and the guy gets outta prison, tracks down my dad in his apartment, and offs him. I was 8 years old, and with the divorce came split custody for my brother and I. I will never forget that on that weekend my father was supposed to take my brother and I for his time, but my mom kept us both with her because we had a cold. So if my mom never kept us home that day, we would have been a witness to his passing. It's awful how the world works."
15.And finally, here's one where the guy didn't actually cheat, but things went badly anyway: "I lost a mate this way. We were really close friends, and he was going through a rough time with his then-girlfriend. She decided to get back at him by writing some bullshit in her journal about her and I hooking up, and then conveniently left it out so he would see it. It was 100% untrue. My friend confronted me about it, and I told him it was untrue, but he didn’t believe me. We stopped talking after that. He eventually reached out to me about six months later after she admitted to him that she had made it all up. But the damage was done, and we never were the same again."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.