The Brown family patriarch tells PEOPLE he's been rebuilding his self-esteem "because it destroys your confidence when you go through a divorce or a family breakup"
Though the Sister Wives star, who turned 55 on Saturday, tells PEOPLE that he still has “good days and bad days” and that his last several years have been "sad and challenging" as three of his four marriages ended, he's still looking forward to better times ahead.
“It's been a process,” he shares. “Really I just look forward to a future of a lot of forgiving and a lot of more understanding.”
Kody admits that he's had to rebuild his self-esteem “because it destroys your confidence when you go through a divorce or a family breakup.”
“I feel like my confidence is coming back,” he says. “I got to find that space of grace and love for myself as well. Be it really forgiving of simple things, like just being angry about what has happened. I want to forgive myself for that and move on.”
“You have to express forgiveness to the people you've been involved with,” he adds. “You have to express understanding and hope that at the end of an era for us as a family, we still have hope of a friendship and a loving or kind relationship with each other in the future because we're bound forever through our kids.”
In November 2021, Christine, left her spiritual marriage to Kody, unknowingly becoming the first domino to fall in what became a 14-month Sister Wives exodus. Then in December 2022, Janelle confirmed that she and Kody had separated as well. And in January 2023, Meri confirmed her split from Kody after 32 years of marriage. Kody remains married to his fourth wife Robyn Brown, 45.
With some distance from the fallout of the splits, Kody tells PEOPLE he's in a place now of “just healing in time and getting to a point where you feel forgiveness towards somebody who's just said bad things about you.”
He continued, “What will move us forward will be the grace, the love and the forgiveness. The same grace and love that we were giving each other 10 years ago as we're going through this very difficult process.”
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