What does Adam Scott do in his spare time when he's not brainstorming expansion packs for the Cones of Dunshire? He's a stormtrooper! Specifically, stormtrooper TK-423. We know this because Mr. Scott — if that is even his real name — has left damning audio evidence in the form of journal entries while working on the second Death Star under the watchful eye of Moff Jerjerrod.
Amy Sussman/Getty Images; Everett Collection Adam Scott and a 'Star Wars' stormtooper
Either that or Scott is merely the voice on the new Star Wars short story "Trooper Trouble" by Laura Pohl, which is part of the new collection Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi, being released on Aug. 29 from Random House Worlds in both book and audiobook form, which is where Scott comes in.
We have an exclusive excerpt from the story and book below, and you can also hear Scott as a stormtrooper above, or listen to it on the latest episode of EW's Dagobah Dispatch podcast (where we also break down the premiere episodes of Ahsoka). Along the way, you will finally learn why Darth Vader never bothers Force-choking lowly stormtroopers!
Random House 'From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi' book cover
"Trooper Trouble" excerpt from Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi
There is still no caf in the cafeteria. One would think this elementary since it is impossible to spell one without the other. When I mentioned that this may be due to lack of planning on the part of the Empire to the unkind worker behind the counter, TK-293 told me to shut up because we will get into trouble, and troopers who get into trouble get sent through the air lock, which explains the lack of personnel the officers are constantly complaining about. I don't want to point fingers but perhaps the solution for the "we need more men" problem would be not to throw all available men through the air lock once they complain there's no caf.
Locked inside the refresher on our floor, no doubt the diligent work of R2-Q9. Hammered on the door until someone opened it for me, all while hearing it malignantly beep on the other side.
Not only has the caf not arrived (although promises were made, excuses were given, the shipments aren't what they were in early Empire days, the ISB has prioritized their own offices' supply first, etc., etc.) but the wages are still late (more promises were made and further excuses were given, the ISB has been prioritized over other workforces, etc., etc.).
TK-848 was none too happy when discussing this later in the evening in our quarters, saying ships had been set on fire for much less on his home planet. According to his words, "We signed up to be here but there were conditions, and these conditions aren't being met," which quickly jumped to "we are being exploited" and then to "I've been talking to the other troopers about forming a un—" which was interrupted by TK-293 telling him that "the commanding officers don't like the U-word."
I was deeply confused, and expressed this by telling them I could not see how any Ugnaughts could relate to our situation. The conversation ended abruptly when TK-534 told all of us that TK-848 was an agitator and that we'd all be getting a Considerable Scolding if we didn't stop all this Ugnaught talk at once.
Never mind all that, today Lord Vader showed up, so instead of us getting a Considerable Scolding, it was Moff Jerjerrod's turn. Other troopers had warned us (TK-848, actually, who apparently knows everybody and everybody's business) of Vader's reputation, but said he never bothers with the stormtroopers, and only keeps his threats to important commanding officers.
"Now, that's class solidarity," said TK-848 after Moff Jerjerrod had made the usual "we need more men" speech (which I had on my card, "claims lack of workers," for the betting pool), and then Vader mentioned the Emperor (which TK-293 had on his card, "namedropping"). All in all, we got to be the audience for one of Vader's famous threats, which is a real treat if you're not on the receiving end of it. Fortunately, we did not witness a less appealing Vader management method, the choke hold, which makes all officers unhappy and scared and thus more prone to screaming at the lower chain of command (i.e., us).
Moff Jerjerrod affirmed we'd be back on schedule, which apparently means we'll have longer shifts of waiting around and pacing corridors. Most important, we now have Standing There for the Emperor's Arrival to look forward to. It'll require a lot of stormtrooper units, which means the betting pool is larger for how many will pass out from dehydration.
Still no caf.
Reprinted from Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi. © 2023 by Lucasfilm Ltd. Published by Random House Worlds, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.
Audio excerpted courtesy of Penguin Random House Audio from Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi by Various Authors, read by A Full Cast.
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