Banished Manly rugby league player Jackson Hastings says being outcast by the NRL club has brought him to tears, but he's determined to learn how to fit in.
Hastings has been dropped to the Sea Eagles' feeder team Blacktown, with first-grade coach Trent Barrett saying the utility is unlikely to be considered for NRL selection again this year.
It's due to issues the club says relate to team balance and culture, and Hastings' inability to get along with his teammates.
But the 22-year-old told News Corp that rather than let the fallout define him, he's working hard to rectify the differences.
"It's about trying to make myself a better bloke to fit into a team environment," Hastings told News Corp.
"I've got to do what's best to fit into the team and the culture. I'm trying to change really hard."
Hastings acknowledges the public fallout has been hurtful and initially forced him to withdraw from team activities as he locked himself in his house and ignored his phone.
"It's been really upsetting. My mother rings and to hear her sobbing.
"It doesn't only affect me, it's my family. I can wear it but my poor mum hasn't stopped crying all week."
Hastings says after already being released from Sydney Roosters, he's now keen to address the issues and he's sought professional help.
"The guy I've been seeing (his psychologist) has been fabulous. I'm learning more about myself," he said.
"It wasn't ideal at the Roosters or the way it finished up. It's happened twice so there are obviously things I have to tinker with."