A widower is furious with his parents for demanding he finds a new wife.
He took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum to explain the situation. His wife died five years ago. Ever since then, his parents have pressured him to remarry. He later found out that they went behind his back to blame his mother-in-law.
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“I’m 30m widowered father of two kids who are 8 and 6,” he wrote. “My wife died 5 years ago which was both expected and unexpected at the same time. She had developed an issue with seizures and the doctors warned us that one could kill her due to the unexplained nature of them occurring, but we believe something in her second pregnancy/the delivery may have triggered it because she was fine before and they started almost immediately after. She had prepared more than I did honestly. I still don’t know how she faced it with such positivity.”
“She made audio and video messages for our kids and I’m so glad she did because then she did actually die and now they can hear her speak to them still. It’s incredible. My family were a great support initially after my wife died. But then after a year they started encouraging me to date, refusing to listen to me when I said I had no interest in it, and even attempting to set me up with women they felt would ‘be a good mom to the kids’. I told them to cut it out then and refused to entertain them on the topic which they reluctantly followed along with.”
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“About six months ago they became very aggressive on the topic,” he explained. “They told me I shouldn’t have given the kids those audio files because when I find someone else they’ll reject her and won’t be able to accept her as a mom. I shut that shit down right away. What I didn’t know until a couple of weeks ago is they went to my MIL and blamed her for this. She lost my wife’s father when my wife was 2 and she has never dated or remarried. They blamed her for pressuring me, which she never has, and they said she was setting a bad example and should be encouraging me to find her grandbabies a mother and find a wife to spend my life with.”
“I found out this information when everyone came to my house to celebrate my eldest. My parents told me they had found someone who would love to come to the celebration, I said no, then they started on at me about being too young to give up on dating and how I was setting a bad example about wallowing. They said life is so much better with a romantic partner and that I at least need my ‘needs’ met. They also said the kids need a mother. When they wouldn’t let up and when I found out what they said to MIL I told them to leave, and when I kicked them out I warned them they would not be part of my life anymore if they couldn’t drop the topic. They did not take it well and have told me I’m an a****** for kicking them out and threatening to cut them off when they’re trying to make my life happier and express their concerns.”
Redditors thought the widower handled things as best as he could.
“Your family is awfully invasive to the point where I can only hardly wrap my head around it all,” a user said.
“I find it ridiculous and sad that you’re the mourning one to whom it’s up to if, when and who he wants to date, yet the only person that isn’t asked, included or respected is you,” another wrote.
“People who genuinely care about your happiness actually listen when you speak and don’t veto your judgment/decisions on these kinds of things,” someone added.
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