People Are Divided On Whether This Boyfriend Is An A-Hole For Being Upset About The B-Day Cake His Girlfriend Made

As someone who loves hearing drama so long as I'm not involved, I simply had to share this absolute trainwreck of a tale that's been dividing the internet this week. As many of our wildest tales do, this story came from r/AITA, posted by Redditor u/Throwaway5829582999. Here's how it goes: "I (34M) had a birthday just yesterday, and my girlfriend (36F) offered to bake me a cake. I told her that I would prefer a chocolate cake (devil's food) with chocolate icing and nothing fancy." OK, simple, right?

person holding a small cake with lit candles on it
Azmanl / Getty Images

"She is usually a great baker, but I guess she thought that wasn't sophisticated enough or something. Instead, she baked me a chocolate cake with vanilla icing between the two layers of cake, then surrounded the whole thing in chocolate frosting."

what he wanted vs what he got

"The cake was fine, but I was disappointed because it was not what I wanted. She must have noticed and asked me if I was disappointed, so I was honest with her. Yes. I was disappointed. It wasn't the cake I asked for. I said, 'If I wanted vanilla in the cake, I would have asked for vanilla in the cake.' I didn't make a scene. I didn't pout. I even ate half of a slice —the chocolate part. She got upset with me and said, 'But I've made vanilla cake before and you liked it.' I pointed out that I don't mind vanilla icing, but it's not what I wanted for my birthday.

person saying no thank you
Paramount Pictures

"Her feelings were hurt, and she even pulled a 'I'm not going to make you any cake next year,' which I replied with, 'I will order my own and get my money back if they don't do it like I want it.' Apparently, that was the last straw. She asked me to leave, later texted me that I embarrassed her in front of her kids, and now she won't reply to my messages."


"I think birthdays are important things, and I feel like I was honest with her when she asked me. I didn't want to lie about it. My friend told me I should have been grateful that she made me a cake at all, especially one that I've eaten and liked in the past. Maybe I overreacted a bit, though I don't feel like I did and hope to get a second opinion. Am I the asshole here?"


Both people on Reddit and on Twitter weighed in on who exactly was in the wrong here's pretty divided if you ask me. Some people were immediately's you! Hi! You're the problem, it's you!

"My brother in Christ did you actually fumble a relationship over vanilla frosting? You're the asshole."


Y'all he literally ate around the vanilla icing. Icing he has eaten before. Icing he had no problems with before, like a fcking child.Sure she could have made a 100% chocolate cake, but how childish and petty he was about a cake that took effort and time to create just for him.

— AskAubry 🦝 (@ask_aubry) August 25, 2023

Twitter: @ask_aubry

"It was a chocolate cake...with chocolate frosting...only she put a thin layer of vanilla frosting inside. Dude! She made you a chocolate cake, as asked, and had plenty of chocolate frosting, as asked, but you got pouty about the inside filling (the THINNEST layer) being vanilla? Grow up, man. YTA and don't expect anymore baked goods."

"Also, saying 'usually she's a great baker' in response to getting ONE THIN LAYER OF VANILLA FROSTING makes him an asshole. Who gets so petty and makes a backhanded statement like that in response to one insignificant detail being wrong?"


"YTA. It wasn’t necessarily what you said, but how you said it. Came off 100% ungrateful and frankly quite rude. Last time I checked, she’s not a waitress taking your order, she’s someone who cares for you TRYING to do a nice thing. You could have at least been a teeny bit grateful instead of shitting all over it. Honesty doesn’t have to be rude. Nine times out of 10, the people who say they’re ‘brutally honest’ are really just assholes...and you’re giving the vibes. Especially to act that way in front of her children. Frankly I’d be embarrassed if I was her."


"You're the asshole. Not necessarily for saying the cake wasn’t what you wanted — although I would have kept my mouth shut — but for the way you spoke to her. It’s so incredibly rude and disrespectful. That was wild. You’re not 15 and she’s not your mom (not that anyone should speak to their mom that way, either). She’s your partner who did something nice for you. If I had a partner who spoke to me like that, I would be out the door immediately."


taylor swift in a music video saying it's me hi i'm the problem it's me
Republic Records / Taylor Swift

On the other hand, some people also thought it was absolutely valid to be upset that his girlfriend asked him what he wanted, decided to ignore it, and made what she thought was best:

If I had my mind set on all chocolate everything no way in hell I’m eating vanilla anything That’s like saying you want bone in wings and someone buy you boneless cause u ate them before. That’s crazy

— Moaning Myrtle 🫦 (@TheJohnJohnShow) August 26, 2023

Twitter: @TheJohnJohnShow

She should’ve made him what he asked for? I would also be disappointed if I asked for something specific and didn’t get it on my birthday? Why ask me then?

— Hoe...Why Is You Here? (@xWhyySoSerious) August 26, 2023

Twitter: @xWhyySoSerious

if we are together, you ask me what i want for my special day and i tell you then wjhy not do or make exactly that

idk i feel like he might have did himself a favor, don’t ask ur partner a question if ur not going to a.) want them to be honest and b.) accept their honesty gracefully idk she sounds weird!

— 𝚔𝚍 ⋆。𖦹 °✩ (@fromkdwithluv) August 26, 2023

Twitter: @fromkdwithluv

person crying saying, why would you do that

Personally, I was pretty intrigued that Reddit leaned largely "YTA" while Twitter for the most part decided he's "NTA." So, what do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Note: Comments have been edited for length and/or clarity.