Bode Miller Cries as He Addresses Late Daughter in “Special Forces ”Death Letter: 'Coming to See You' (Exclusive)

In an exclusive clip shared with PEOPLE, the father struggles to address his children in the emotional letter

<p>Instagram/millerbode</p> Bode Miller and late daughter Emmy


Bode Miller and late daughter Emmy

Sharing his death letter was one of the hardest challenges Bode Miller has faced on season 2 of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test.

In a clip shared exclusively with PEOPLE, Miller, 45, reads the note to his castmates and is openly emotional as he addresses his children.

"You are the coolest, most exciting, most fun little humans that I could have had in my life. I love you, and I'm proud to be your dad."

Then he had a separate note for his late daughter Emeline ("Emmy"), who died in a drowning accident at 19 months old in June 2018. "I've missed you so much and I'm coming to see you. Love, Dad," he reads, crying throughout.

In addition to Emmy, Miller is dad to daughter Scarlet Olivia, 21 months, 3 ½-year-old twin boys Asher and Aksel, plus sons Easton, 4, and Nash, 7, with wife Morgan Miller, as well as son Nate, 10, and daughter Dace, 14, from previous relationships.

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Related: Bode Miller Jokes Ski Trips with Kids Are a 'Bit Different,' But There's 'Nothing Sweeter'

In an episode of the reality series last month, Miller shared Emmy's story with his castmates.

"It was brutal. She let herself out the back door and jumped right into our neighbor's pool," he said, beginning to cry.

Someone asked how Miller "deals with something like that," to which the bereaved dad replied, "It does not go away."

Kelly Rizzo, who was married to the late Bob Saget, added, "It's such a weird thing that I never knew until you grieve is that you feel guilty for feeling happy. Even if you have a moment of happiness, you're like, 'Oh my god, am I going to get judged for feeling happy? I shouldn't feel happy.'"

"It's so conflicting," Miller agreed. "It's one of the strangest things."

Morgan Miller/Instagram Bode Miller's kids
Morgan Miller/Instagram Bode Miller's kids

In June, the Olympian marked five years since Emmy's death in a heartfelt tribute on Instagram.

"It’s been five years," wrote the skiier. "On the night of her birth, our midwife @lindseymeehleis noted that Emmy was 'here to change the world.'"

"5 years after her loss, I can see it. Emmy was fearless, determined and fierce from the moment she was born," he continued. "We miss you Emmy. 19 months was never going to be long enough to hold you in our arms."

Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test airs at 9 p.m. ET on Monday on Fox.

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