Madix admitted it felt "weird for a second" to back at the same spot where she found out about Tom Sandoval’s affair with their former friend and costar Rachel "Raquel" Leviss
Ariana Madix had some reservations ahead of returning to TomTom, the restaurant where she learned of the affair between her then-boyfriend of nine years Tom Sandoval and their Vanderpump Rules costar Rachel “Raquel” Leviss.
The 38-year-old reality told PEOPLE at the show’s season 11 premiere earlier this month that she “definitely had some anxiety” about going back to the West Hollywood hotspot where she had not been since she found an intimate video of Leviss on her ex’s phone, which led her to end her relationship with Sandoval, 41.
“I hadn't been there since March 1, and then I ended up sitting in the same spot,” she explained. “And I was like, it felt weird, like, it was weird for a second.”
However, the Dancing with the Stars alum quickly settled in amongst her friends, sharing, “But then, like just having all the girls there that definitely made me just like… If I got my girls, I'll be OK.”
On the highly-anticipated season 11 premiere, Madix admitted she was “nervous” to go back to TomTom for her friend and costar James Kennedy’s DJ set. Before the night out, she told boyfriend Daniel Wai that she hadn’t “been there since that night that all of that transpired.”
“I shouldn’t have to make my life smaller because Tom messed everything up and if I can go there and make new memories maybe it won’t have power over me anymore and I’ll be able to look at it as just some bar,” she explained in a confessional.
When she arrived at the bar, she was greeted by the girlfriends but admitted she was still feeling “a little shaky” about being back especially after being sat in the same spot as last time.
While the girls rallied around her, Madix became overcome with emotion about returning to the place where she discovered the bombshell affair.
“I didn’t expect to feel all of this coming up right now,” she explained. “You think it’s just a place or it’s just a chair or it’s a table, whatever and I’ve sat in this table so many times but now that time is really taking over my memories of this place.”
In addition to heading back to TomTom, Madix was still navigating her living arrangement with Sandoval after they purchased a home together in 2019. However, the Broadway star has since taken ownership of the Los Angeles property.
“I own the house,” she told PEOPLE at the premiere. “I felt like it was the last thing, and I'm just really motivated to be able to get my investment that I made into the house out so that I can make another investment and be able to fully just move on from being tied to that."
She added that because she's "a little bit of a control freak," she wanted to be in charge of the situation with the home she shared with her ex.
Now, she's ready to search for a new abode and leave all the drama behind her. "I want things a certain way when I think it's the right time," Madix continued. "So I'm ready. I want to own my own home."
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Vanderpump Rules airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.
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