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'You're kidding': Why AFL veteran spurned coach's amazing gift

By Grant Birchall

I have a dream about once a week. I’m running onto the MCG to play footy.

I wake up and I’m still injured. It’s been that way since round 15 in 2017. There have been plenty of times, last season and this one, where I’ve been edging closer to a comeback. I’ve had in mind games to get back for, and then I’ve had a setback and that ruins that.

It’s not the MCG just yet but I’m having a kick this week in the twos. I’ve been close since that last game I played, but not as close as I am right now.

This week I presume it’s half a game. If I get through that okay, maybe a full game the following week. From there it all depends on my performance. I guess I should be right after two VFL games but I haven’t really sat down with Clarko [coach Alastair Clarkson] or the medical staff yet.

A couple of the boys who have been through longterm injuries understand what it’s like. Jaeger O’Meara has been through it with his knees. Maxy Bailey, a guy I got drafted with who is now a development coach at Hawthorn, went through really tough times with his knee. He played just six senior games in his first five years because of injuries.

Clarko has been unreal. I have a really close relationship with him and, especially the last couple of years while I’ve been injured, he’s been terrific for me.

Injury has sidelined Grant Birchall for two years.
Grant Birchall in action for Hawthorn. Pic: Getty

It’s great to know he has my back. Not that we’re always on the same page.

A few weeks ago, I was at out having a few quiet drinks with the boys and I got a text message from Clarko asking if I was down Brighton way, near where he lives.

He asked if I could be at my place around 8.30. I said ‘no worries’, and that night there was a knock on the door and it was him and his boy Matty. Matty was holding a six-week-old Labrador pup. I thought it was their dog and I was like ‘no worries, let it run around outside’. I thought they wanted to come in and chat about footy. He said, ‘no mate, this is your dog’.

‘I’d had an absolute gutful of it’

I said, ‘you’re kidding me? I’ve got nothing for her. I haven’t been brought up with dogs, I know nothing about them.’

He told me to give it a go for a little bit and see how I coped. I didn’t name it. I was a little rattled to be honest. I didn’t know what to call it, what to do. I just ran with ‘doggy’.

I lasted 24 hours. I’d had an absolute gutful of it. It was running around, chewing and pissing and crapping everywhere. Just a bit too much for me. I texted him and said, ‘mate, you’re going to have to come around and pick this up – it’s doing my head in’.

It was after the Richmond game and we didn’t have a great day. Lost by six goals. I thought, ‘oh no, he’s going to be a bit shitty and angry at me’. But he came and picked it up and it was no worries at all, and now he’s got it at his place.

Grant Birchall says he couldn't keep the adorable gift Alastair Clarkson gave him.
Grant Birchall and Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson. Pic: Getty

He does come up with some different ideas and, if he reckons he has a good one, he will go through with it.

I lasted 24 hours. I had an absolute gutful of it. It was running around, chewing and pissing and crapping everywhere. Just a bit too much for me.

Just before the dog turned up, we’d been chatting about my calf. I’ve had issues with that for the past couple of months and he was talking about my rehab and he mentioned about going for walks.

I live in Glen Iris and there are some really nice parks to walk in. I thought it was a good idea. He asked if I had a dog to take.

Next thing, he’s rocked up on my doorstep with one. I’m tipping it wasn’t a cheap dog. I live on my own so there’s plenty of room for a dog to run around. There’s a lot of hard work with a dog in those early weeks but in rehab I thought, ‘I can’t handle this’.

Maybe he was trying to take my mind off things. He’s very thoughtful. Maybe he thought it would be good to have some responsibility, and something to keep me company. But I handballed it back to him pretty quickly!

Read the full PlayersVoice article here