"Sir, We Do Taxes Here, Not Testicles": 23 People Who Were Too Confused For Their Own Good

Reddit user u/deadmoby5 posed the question, "What was your 'Sir, this is a Wendy's' moment?" which prompted hundreds of people to share their stories of clueless customers catching an attitude and people genuinely not having any idea what they were doing. I have so much secondhand embarrassment. Here's what they shared:

1."Many years ago, I worked as a pharmacy tech for a big chain. One day, this lady came up to the counter and asked me if I could help her. She reached in her purse, grabbed a bag, and opened it for me to see. I looked in and saw a bag full of bugs — many dead, but a few moving. She goes on to tell me that she 'found' these bugs in her car, home, food, hair, and inside her (whatever that means). I realized VERY quickly that this was above my pay grade, so I called in my pharmacist for a consultation. I hid and eavesdropped on their conversation. My pharmacist told her we're a pharmacy, and she needed to call an exterminator."


2."When I was about 12 or 13, I saved up my allowance and neighborhood yard work money to finally afford the newest iPod, the ones that could play videos as well. I wanted to make sure they had it at the store before I got my parents to drive me there, so I opened the phone book, found the Apple Store, and called them. Guy at Apple Store: 'Hello?' Me: 'Hi, do you have the iPod Video in stock?' Guy: 'Uh...this is an apple store. Like...crunch crunch?' I had called the gift shop at an apple orchard."


Barrels of apples
Stan Dzugan / Getty Images

3."I worked at Sam's Club during the height of the pandemic. The toilet paper wars were raging, and every beef and pork product had been out of stock for days. I was the rotisserie chicken guy, so basically the only money-maker in the meat department. I was performing the never-ending grease cleaning routine that took up my time while the chickens cooked, and a dude in his 50s or 60s frantically came up to me and asked, 'WHAT SIZE UNDERWEAR AM I WEARING?!' Before I could respond, he turned around and flipped the elastic band of his tighty-whities at me. He was a medium. He thanked me and speed-walked toward the clothing section. I guess men's underwear was in danger of disappearing that day."


4."I had someone call my fire station and ask us to come fill up her pool. Her: 'I need you to come and fill up my pool, please.' Me: 'Uh, ma'am, we do not do that. We are a fire department.' Her: 'Well, who am I supposed to call to have my pool filled up? You guys have the water trucks.' Me: 'I am not totally sure, ma'am, but once again, we are a fire department. Our fire engines use their water for emergencies, not to fill pools.' Her: 'Well, my taxes pay for your salary and vehicles, so you need to come fill up my pool!' Me: 'I am sorry, but we cannot do that. Have a good day, ma'am.' It was ridiculous and hilarious. I could not believe the entitlement!"


A firefighter using the hose
Smile / Getty Images

5."I work for a CPA office that is in an office park with a couple doctors' offices. One day, a guy came in only speaking Spanish, so I grabbed my Spanish-speaking colleague to translate. He talked to the guy in the lobby for a few minutes, then the guy left, and my coworker came back and asked if that was a joke or we put someone up to that. Apparently, the guy explained that his testicles were extremely swollen and painful. He was looking for one of the doctors' offices and just walked into the first building in the complex. Sir, we do taxes here, not testicles."


6."I worked in an ice cream shop when I was 16/17, and I had a lady scream at us demanding a refund because her ice cream was melting too fast. She had ordered hot fudge on it."


A hot fudge sundae
Cavan Images / Getty Images/Cavan Images RF

7."I work as a law clerk for a judge, and a scammer called my chambers doing the classic 'I'm trying to reach the property owner for blah blah blah because you might be entitled to a government tax rebate.' I responded: 'This is the 15th Division of the First Circuit Court. You know that, right?' He hung up immediately."


8."I used to work at a well-established paint-your-own-pottery studio that had the word 'bakers' in the name — think, 'The Pottery Bakers.' Our windows were FILLED with pottery for sale, and the walls were lined with white bisque to be painted. A woman came in and asked: 'Do you have any baguettes?' Me: 'Baguettes?' Her: 'What else do you have?' I looked around at the full room of people in smocks painting pottery, then looked back at her. Her with bizarre urgency: 'Do you have any bread available?' Me: 'Ma’am, we are a pottery studio. We bake pottery. I do not have any bread.' The next day, she left us a one-star review claiming that our store name was deliberately misleading so that we could lure people in to visit under the 'false pretenses' of being a bakery of breads."


Pottery on shelves
Carlina Teteris / Getty Images

9."Had a guy come into my place of work ticked off because he issued his payment date and had to pay extra to turn his phone back on. He said something along the lines of, 'It was due at midnight, and y’all aren’t open at midnight, so how was I supposed to pay?' I calmly explained that we are open until 7:00 p.m. every day but Sunday, and he screamed, 'Well, unlike you, I actually have a job!' At my job. Whilst doing my job."


10."I worked in a national park. I was asked when we turn the geysers on. I was also asked another time when we let the bears out for viewing. Ma'am, this isn’t an amusement park."


A park ranger with his hand out
Inhauscreative / Getty Images

11."A guy came into my liquor store and asked if we could help change his tire. We didn't change his tire, and he left one real angry online review."


12."While working at Ulta, there was a guy in the store for, like, 10 minutes waiting while I tried to find something his girlfriend had put on hold, only to realize he meant to go to the shoe store next door. Until I asked him what his girlfriend had wanted and he said, 'Shoes,' he never once stopped to think about the fact that there was nothing even remotely resembling a shoe for sale in the entire store."


Makeup display
Hillary Kladke / Getty Images

13."Had a guy INSIST that I made his sweet teas wrong yesterday. He said he had the cups from the day before to prove it. I work at Starbucks. This man pulls up to my window and confidently sets down two half-full McDonald’s sweet teas. Sir, this is a Starbucks."


14."A woman came into our store and asked where the carrots were. We thought maybe it was a new brand we hadn't heard of yet, so we ask her to clarify. 'Carrots, like for cooking,' she said. I wonder what part of walking into an electronics store and seeing computers everywhere made her go, 'Yeah, this store definitely has produce somewhere.'"


Me 3645 Studio / Getty Images

15."My brother was working at Chick-fil-A in the drive-thru. A guest asked for a Whopper with cheese. My brother said, 'Ma'am, this isn't a Burger King. We only have chicken sandwiches.' She started screaming at him and asked why he couldn't just make it. He told her that they literally didn't have any beef anywhere in the store. She wouldn't take no for an answer, and the manager had to come out."


16."When I worked at McDonald's, someone came in and demanded steak. It was a McDonald's. He demanded to see a manager who helpfully informed him this was a McDonald's. 'I can get steak at Taco Bell!' he claimed. Then go to Taco Bell?"


A piece of steak on a fork
Dustypixel / Getty Images

17."I was an associate working in the Cracker Barrel store, and a woman came in and was interested in one of our lamps. It was $100. She offered me $30 for it, and I told her I could only sell it at the ticketed price. She offered to go up to $50. I told her again that I could only sell it at the ticketed price. Her response: 'You need to be willing to negotiate. That's how flea markets work.' And then I had to explain, politely because she was a customer, that we were a regular retail store and not, in fact, a flea market. It took more explaining than it should have. She did not buy the lamp."


18."I worked at Walmart for a long time in the hardware department. I once had a customer call asking if we sold toilets. I said, 'Like, toilet seats?' He said, 'No, like actual toilets.' So I said, 'Sorry, we just sell the seats and replacement parts — no porcelain.' He got all huffy and said, 'Jesus, what is this place? Walmart??' I paused for a moment and said, 'Yes sir, it is.' Silence for a long moment. Then, he said, in a little voice, 'This isn't Home Depot?' 'No sir, you called Walmart.' 'Oh crap, I am so sorry!' And he hung up. I laughed my butt off."


A toilet flushing
Calvin Chan Wai Meng / Getty Images

19."I was sitting in the waiting lounge of the service department at my car dealership getting an oil change when a red-faced man THREW the door open and stormed up to the service desk. He immediately started shouting and swearing about how he was sick and tired of the dealership and their crappy ways. He said: 'If I had known what a terrible business this was, I would've never bought a Volkswagen. I'm sorry I ever bought it.' The service advisor looked at him and said: 'The VW dealership is next door. This is a NISSAN dealership.' The man stood there for a second, processing. Then, he just let out a ROAR and ran out of the door. Everyone looked at each other with wide eyes."


20."I was working at McDonald’s, and this lady said, 'Can I get the Wendy’s 4 for 4?' I said, 'Ma’am, this is a McDonald’s,' and without a moment's hesitation, she replied, 'Indeed it is. Can I get a Big Mac?'"


A Big Mac
Kool99 / Getty Images/iStockphoto

21."I used to work at Ulta, and I had someone get super upset with me that I couldn’t sell them a Sephora gift card. Even after explaining in multiple ways that we were two different companies, they were convinced I was just refusing them because I could. It was bizarre."


22."I was in Lowe's one morning right after they opened. There was a woman at the service desk having a complete meltdown, yelling and screaming because Lowe's didn't have a licensed contractor there at the store for her to hire. She apparently woke up that morning and decided she needed a deck that same day, and she thought she could just go to Lowe's and have someone immediately start building a deck. It was dead, so I stood with the cashier listening to the show. They ended up having to call the police to get her to leave."


A house patio
John Keeble / Getty Images

23.Finally: "I used to work for Kmart. Someone came into the store and wanted to know where the pet department was located. We only had one aisle of pet items, and it was mostly items for dogs and cats (food, litter, toys, etc.). I took the customer to the aisle, and they said, 'This is it? This is all you have for pet supplies? You don’t have an actual department, like other stores?' I said, 'Yes, sir. We just carry the basics. If you need a bigger selection, there is a Pet Supplies Plus located at the other end of the plaza.' The customer got upset and said, 'But if I wanted to go to Pet Supplies Plus, I would have gone there. But I wanted to go to Kmart. So, I’m guessing you don’t have fish food or anything like that?' I showed him the same selection of fish food, and he got upset."

"He then started asking for advice on fish tanks, and again, I directed him to the Pet Supplies Plus that was located just a couple storefronts down from Kmart. When he insisted on not going to that store, I gave him directions to two other pet stores in the area. Eventually, he left, but not before saying, 'This is why Kmart is going out of business!' Sure, buddy, the lack of a pet department is the sole reason Kmart is going out of business."


SMH. People are somethin' else. 🫠

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.